Never Summer Again

Chapter Fifty - One: You Two Deserve Each Other

Lydia

Score: Hate That I Love You - Rihanna feat. NeYo

The rain is pounding against my umbrella, curtains of water falling around the rim. I'm walking down the street in my Hunter boots, trying to avoid the splashes from the cars that are passing by.

I feel ridiculously nervous.

I agreed to this meeting, because, after Theodora's friendly visit to Alex's, I got to thinking about stuff. My mum. True love. Being happy. All that shit.

So, after Gloria convinced me to stay, I decided to finally meet him.

The night Gloria came to St. Pancras and stopped me from getting on that train, after a considerable amount of explaining, Gloria and I managed to get back through security and we went back to her and Liam's flat. It is a very pretty place, I must admit, and, as they kindly suggested I stay with them as long as I like, I finally decided to take them up on their offer and start claiming my life back.

I knew that the first thing I needed to do was get a job. I was quickly running out of money, and with no support from Colin, I knew I had to do something about it. Gloria told me not to worry about that, but I didn't feel comfortable, completely relying on her and Liam, so, it was out of the question.

Luckily, Gloria mentioned my situation to her dad and he offered me a place at Bellanger Skin&Beauty.

I had never thought about working in the company that my father helped build and that was such a success story, ever, prior to that moment.

"Are you sure it'll be OK? I am not even a University student yet. Of what help am I going to be at all?" I had asked, sincerely wondering whether Matthew would have offered some other random girl, fresh out of school, with no experience and no skills whatsoever (like, seriously, I can't even make a cup of coffee, if it isn't coming out of a Nespresso pod), for the Assistant to the Digital Marketing Manager position. I highly doubted it.

"Of course, Lydia," Matthew had said, his eyes sparkling like small blue beatles. "Belanger Skin&Beauty is as much your rightful legacy, as it is Gloria's."

Tears had sprung to my eyes at his words.

So, I took the job and made Gloria and Liam agree that I pay rent, once I start being paid. I'm not going to be able to pay for a place of my own with the money I'll be making, considering the crazy prices of rent in London, but, at least, I wouldn't be feeling as uncomfortable as I am now, for being useless and not contributing at all.

So, that's settled. At least for now. I keep dreaming of the day that I actually go to university and pursue my dream career, but, for now, I have to be practical and work with what I've got, I guess.

Then, I decided it was time to face the mess I made over the past summer, and which, in all honesty, has been in the making for the past few years, and finally pick up the courage to stand for myself and my decisions and take ownership of my actions and choices. I'm sick and tired of blaming everything that happened to Colin, or Mark, or Patrick, or the Universe, or the fucking Tooth Fairy. The truth is, we all have a say in our own lives, and the way we turn out is our responsibility. Whatever happens to us is nobody's fault. We just need to be strong enough to accept that both the good and the bad in our lives stem directly from our own choices.

This is why I am walking in the rain right now, towards the slick black car, with the blinkers on, right in front of me.

He hasn't given up trying to get a hold of me since that night in Gloria's driveway. And I finally decided to hear him out. If not to him, I owe this to myself. We've shared so much together. We have so many good memories together, even if things between us went so terribly wrong in the end. And Gloria's words that night at St. Pancras made me realize I can't keep running away from this whole situation anymore. It's not just going to go away, it's just going to get deeper under my skin, like a splinter in your foot. I need to start facing my poor decisions.