Never Summer Again

Chapter Thirty - Have You Ever Been In Love

Score: Have You Ever Been In Love - Celine Dion

Lydia

My life's gone completely off the rails. So much so, that I can't see the tracks anymore.

I wipe the last, half-dried tears from my cheeks.

It's like within less than twenty-four hours, I have gone completely insane.

For one, I slept with my guy BFF. How banal.

Then, I kind of-sort of broke up with my boyfriend of two years. The one I thought I'd marry some day, and who literally choked me this morning. How out of line.

On top of that, my father tried to push me back into Mr. Choker's arms, basically saying that I deserved what he'd done. How outrageous.

And now, I'm riding in above mentioned guy BFF's car, virtually homeless, with my other two best friends bickering over why the one's known about my secret affair for longer than the other.

Fuck. My. Life.

I'm also cold and wet, and most of my belongings are probably soaked useless in my bags. Oh, and, last but not least, I don't really know where I'm about to go from here. Alex and her mum are leaving for Italy tomorrow. There's no way I'd stay in their flat, while they're away. There's also no way I'd go back to my dad's. Like, ever. And I don't let myself even ponder going back to Mark's. Like, I feel it'd be awkward, given our...experience last night.

You see, my life's literally turned into a cheesy Channel 4 soap opera. And I have no fucking idea what to do about it.

"Lyds, you're more than welcome to stay at my place." Alex peeks her head around the headrest of my seat in the front. "I'd be much more at ease if I know you're there, safe, while I'm away."

"Or, you can come stay with me and Liam." Gloria jumps in. Gloria and Liam got a flat together in Paddington, as they will be going to UCL and they wanted to be together, so they opted for an off-campus living arrangement. It only helps that Liam's family owns the building.

"Thanks, Glo, no offense, but I don't want to be a third wheel."

"Oh, come on, Lydia! Don't be so stubborn, I'm trying to offer a resolution here..."

"You're coming with me," Mark says from the driver's seat. I turn to face him so fast, my neck gives out a nasty crack.

"What?"

"You're coming with me." He repeats. He's looking straight ahead, not a muscle in his face moving. "We're going back to my flat." His tone gives absolutely no room for arguing.

Silence falls in the small space of the car. I turn my head to the back seat. Gloria and Alex are both staring at me, wide-eyed, not saying a word, but the question's hanging in the air.

What the fuck!?

"Can we at least go by Alex's first? I need to pick up the stuff that I left there before she leaves."

"OK. We go there, and then, straight back to my mum's."

The rest of the trip to Alex's passes in complete silence. I can basically sense how uncomfortable Alex and Gloria are feeling right now. Mark's looking straight ahead, which is probably a good thing, given that he's driving.

I twirl the string of my joggers around my finger.

So, we're there. I'm going back to Mark's. I feel relieved, but also strangely on edge. Relieved, because I don't have to worry about having no place to stay, but on edge, because I don't know what to expect out of it. Out of us. I don't even know what we are anymore. We crossed the line to being more than just friends the night we kissed in his car, and then, last night, we ran so far away from it, it's not visible in the distance anymore. Yet, we're not a boyfriend-girlfriend kind of thing and I don't know if I want us to be. I've just come out of the longest, scratch that, the only relationship I've ever been into, and not in a very pleasant way.