Never Summer Again

Chapter Thirty-Five - It's Me And You

Mark

Score: You and I - One Direction

I pull back, breathless, and reach with my hand to remove her headphones. I toss them on the bed next to her and take her face in both of my hands gently, locking my gaze with hers again. I run my thumbs over her tear-streaked cheeks.

She looks up at me with those big, black eyes, still rimmed with red.

"You're back early from your date," she says, a smirk playing on her lips, although her eyes are oozing hurt. God, how I wish to wipe that expression off her face! I lean down until my forehead touches hers.

"I am so sorry," I say. I don't move, I don't blink, I don't fucking breathe. "I'm sorry I was such a jerk earlier. Of course what happened between me and you means something, Lyds! It means more to me than you can ever imagine."

Everything. It means everything.

"I would never have done it, if it didn't mean something. You mean too much to me for me to even think to screw our friendship up for just...well, screwing," I say, trying to lighten up the mood a little.

Way to go, Carter! Always such a clown!

Lydia's eyes flutter closed and another tear escapes her eyelids. I want to capture it in my mouth, but I just continue speaking instead. "I was afraid you weren't feeling the same about it, babe. After all you've been through...I didn't want to push you. But I want you to know that I want you more than anything I've ever wanted, Lydia. I want to be with you. And, if you want me, too, that's OK. But, if I was just a distraction...If what happened between us was just a distraction for you, during a low point in your life, that's OK, too." Her eyes, wide open now, are staring up at me, with emotion I've never seen in them before.

"I don't know what I want right now, Mark," she says, reaching for my face. "I don't even know what I need right now. All I know is, that imagining you with Martha made me want to scream, trash your mum's place, and possibly vandalize your dad's SUV," she goes on, a pained smile stretching her lips.

I chuckle, squeezing her face a little tighter in my palms. I'm not fucking this up. Not this time.

And what are you going to do about, you know, the issue? The voice in my head, which is growing more annoying by the second, whispers.

We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. If we ever come to it. I'm so close to paying Patrick back that I might never have to bring that up again.

"From this moment on, it's me and you, Lydia." Lyds frowns, questioningly. "It's you and me, no Patrick, no Martha, no fucking dates." Her eyes go wide and she blushes. "You are mine and I am yours. I don't want anyone else, do you understand that?"

She nods and swallows audibly.

"Good. And I don't want you to want anyone else, either. You got that? I don't care if Harry Potter walks into the room, right now, and asks you to sleep with him."

She pulls away from my grip. Her face is flushed with amusement.

"Like, Daniel Radcliffe, or the real thing? Because if the real Harry Potter walks in right now, I don't know..."

I grab her cheeks with one hand, pulling her face closer to mine.

"I. Don't. Care. I don't care if Zayn fucking Malik walks in, okay?" I say, making her blush at the recollection of her One Direction crush. I still remember the day he announced he was leaving the band. Lydia was ten years old then and had her heart broken for the very first time.

"I'm yours and you're mine," I repeat.

She nods again. I bend down and kiss her, hard. She reaches for my shirt and fists the fabric, pulling me closer. Her tongue caresses mine, as I kneel on the bed beside her. I move my hand to her hair, tangling my fingers in it. Her hands still gripping my shirt, she uncrosses her legs and I move my left leg over, kneeling above her thighs, my mouth insatiable for hers.

"You're perfect, you know that?" I say, pulling away for just long enough to look into her eyes and show her that's exactly where I want to be.

"You're not bad yourself, Carter," she sighs, her face instantly lighting up with the realization of what I just confessed to her.

I feel the world shrink down to this very moment, to Lydia and me, holding each other in the guest room, just two kids, who've known each other all their lives, but have so much more to discover about each other. So much more to experience together...

"Tell me you're mine again," I say, reaching for her hair, tangling my fingers into it, and pulling it until our mouths meet again into a heated kiss.

"I'm yours." She pants in my mouth.

I let go of her hair and move my hand to her hip.

We lose ourselves into each other, again and again, until there's nothing left, but her and me.

***

After, I lay on the bed with Lydia in my arms, her arm draped across my chest and her leg thrown over both of mine. My head is still spinning, my body numb from the override of adrenaline and pleasure. I stroke Lydia's hair with my hand. I turn my head toward her and look down at her face, half hidden in her hair. Her eyes are wide open, fixed on nothing in particular, her expression letting me know that she is somewhere far, far away.

She's withdrawing already, drifting away, and I don't know how to bring her back from the darkness that resides inside her head. It sucks, because I know I have no power in there.

Not yet.

Until I get there, I am forced to resort to more...barbaric measures. I move my hand, which is not in her hair, down to her side, and tickle her.

Her eyes snap back into focus and she crumbles, bubbly laugh escaping her lips.

We continue this game for some time, and then I stop and hold her again, both of us out of breath, laughter still echoing through the flat.

"Lyds?" I reach with my hand and push the mess of her hair out of her face, "Are you OK, babe?"

She looks up at me and shakes her head.

"I didn't know..." she says, and then laughs again.

"You didn't know what, baby?" I am getting a little concerned now.

"I didn't know it could feel this good..."

"Not that I doubt my abilities," I say and Lydia snorts and swats at my arm. "But what feels good, babe?"

She's quiet for a moment, and then she lifts her eyes to meet mine.

"This. Being free. Doing what I want. Being with you."

As she says that, my heart, which has only just calmed down from our lovemaking, starts beating so fast it threatens to burst out of my chest. A sudden, unknown feeling washes over me and squeezes my throat until I am unable to breathe.

All I know is, I want to make her feel good in any way possible, for the rest of my life.