A Housekeeper's Secrets

A Different Side.

Chris' POV:

I put the bricks in a duffle bag, and put it in the safe in my office along with the cash from the briefcase.

It won't be in here long. I'll come collect it after the fight.

"Aye can y'all step outside real quick?" I asked Justin and my security as they looked at Jayde sitting in the chair.

"Yea boss, we'll be outside." Security said as Justin looked at me with a smirk and then he looked at her.

I waved him off and he chuckled as they finally walked out.

Once the door closed, I sighed. She was in my view, quiet the entire time.

Though that may be true, her face spoke a thousand words without even realizing it.

A lot has transpired today. Her mind in a million places... not knowing where to begin.

"Look at me." I said as her eyes slowly rose from the floor.

There was a silence after a few seconds. I could tell that she was bothered, but she didn't wanna show it.

"Talk to me"

"About what?"

"What's on your mind?" I asked as I sat partially on my desk.

"A lot... I wish I could shut it off but I can't." She said looking down at her fingers.

"Love——" I said as she cut me off.

"Stop calling me that. You don't mean it so just stop alright?!"

There was pure agitation in her tone.

"Jayde, I do mean that. You don't see me walking around head over hills calling anybody else that do you? No. So don't tell me what the fuck I don't mean." I said as she looked away shaking her head.

"Just talk to me..." I begged.

"About what Chris??"

"Whatever you're feeling."

"I feel stupid. I feel like I was played and toyed with. Still even after you shut me out, I warned you twice about the freakin' FBI because I cared about you. So don't ask me what I'm feeling because I'm embarrassed... ashamed even. I let down walls with nothing to show for it but disappointment." She exclaimed as I stared at her.

I sighed and stood to my feet.

"You think I wanted to do that shit? You think I wanted to shut you out? You think I fuckin' forgot about the night we spent together? The kiss that we shared? I play that shit back in my head every single day. I walk through the fuckin' halls and I see you even when you're not there. When I'm pissed off, your laugh echoes through my mind and leaves a smile plastered on my face. Sometimes I even smell your perfume when I close my damn eyes man..." I said as I started pacing back and forth.

"It's times where I can still feel the imprint of your lips on my fuckin' skin. Even having no contact in so many weeks... you still haunt me. You're everywhere I turn without even knowing it." I spoke truthfully to her.

She became quiet as she took heed to my words.

"Jayde I care about you. But, I'm scared of this shit. I wanna know you more, I want you around me, and I wanna experience love and life with you... but I don't want this getting destroyed." I said as I stood in front of her.

I picked her chin up just because I wanted to.

"My business makes me happy, but that night you made me feel some shit I ain't felt in a long time. I stopped looking at you throughout these past weeks to try and discipline myself from my personal desires. But it didn't work. It hurt that I couldn't hold or hug you in front of everybody. I couldn't handle you the way I wanted. I couldn't kiss you the way I needed to... Your presence makes me lose focus sometimes and I can't have that shit happening. My last relationship fucked up my judgement and my decisions. If we were to be anything in the future, I don't want my career to fuckin' ruin us." I admitted as her facial muscles softened.