A Housekeeper's Secrets

Hallucinations.

A Week Later
Venice, Italy
2:26 a.m
Chris' POV

"How could you?" She asked as she stood across from me.

"I had no choice. You gotta understand baby." I said with regret in my voice.

"You always have a choice Chris. How does it feel to lose the one thing that mattered most?" She asked.

I jumped up out of my sleep in a cold sweat.

I looked around the room and I heard the breeze from the balcony. The trees blew in the wind in the distance... The air was dense.

I took a deep breath and held my head in my hands.

"So that's it huh?" I heard her voice again... nearby and it cause me to flinch.

"Jayde?" I asked confused.

"How are you gonna live without me?" She asked as I saw her walk across the room.

"What the fuck? How did you get here?"

"What do you care? You left me... you broke us." She said as I scoffed.

"Jayde, no I didn't. I had to protect you." I said as she shook her head no and approached the bed.

"No Chris. You had to protect yourself. You're more worried about other stuff. There's no way that I even fit in your perfect picture. You might just be better off without me." She said as I shook my head no.

"Baby, it's not fuckin' true. I swear." I said as she spoke.

"You came into my life, introduced me to a love I've always wanted, and then you abandon me." She said.

"Jayde, I'm sorry. Don't fuckin' make this about that. I never wanted to hurt you." I said as my heart started hurting.

"Worst of all, you left me pregnant just like Keith did. Guess you're following right in his footsteps." She said as I couldn't speak.

No words formed.

"Just as I thought... pathetic." Her voice echoed as my eyes fluttered open quickly and I started hyperventilating.

I finally jumped out of my last dream... how the fuck did I just have two dreams inside of one?

I can't believe this is happening. I keep dreaming about her... she's fuckin' everywhere.

I see this girl when I sleep, wake up, shower, go outside... I'm haunted by her.

I've been living with hallucinations... cause she's not here.

I rubbed my eyes aggressively to make sure that I'm fully awake.

It's been a week now. I've connected with some friends I know... Italians.

They've always been good to me throughout the years and they gave me a compound to crash at until things die down... if they do.

I've been going back and forth in my mind. I miss Jayde like crazy. I want her to be with me, but I don't want to put her at risk.

I called Justin yesterday and he updated me on shit that's going on back home. I haven't talked to her yet... I just can't bring myself to do it.

Justin said she's been taking it pretty hard. They have to force her to eat because she's been in a depressed state. I never wanted this to happen. I didn't think it would have this type of effect on her, but it's all my fault.

She's probably not even gonna wanna talk to me and that's completely fine. I understand. If she left me out the blue I don't know what I'd do with myself.