A Housekeeper's Secrets

Don't Do This.

Chris' POV:

I stared in her watery eyes and my heart continued to throb due to the words that previously exited my mouth.

"Chris, I love you more than you could ever know... please don't do this to me." She said wiping the tears that fell.

Emotions filled the space that we possessed. Grief... heartache... the despair weighed heavily between us.

My eyes began to water as I spoke.

"I-I thought I was fuckin' protecting you... but all I've done was bring danger into your life Jayde. Everything Meech was thinking was right. This had no business getting this far. I love you more than any woman I've been with before, which is why I need to let you go." I managed to get out but it felt like a huge knot was forming in my throat.

I can't believe I'm allowing these words to form.

She shook her head no and tried to hold herself back from sobbing. This shit hurts man.

"So that's it huh?! Just throw away everything we've built with each other? Forget the dates... forget the trips... the movie nights... the intimate showers... the music sessions... forget the talks about the future and the damn mansion that you just bought for us right?! Cause none of that fucking matters to you anymore." She blurted out and it ruptured my core because I could hear the pain in her voice.

"C'mon baby that shit ain't true——"

"Don't baby me right now! It is true! You're literally giving up on us as we speak!" She shouted in anguish.

Justin and Meech peeked in from the other room as I wiped my face with my hands. You don't know pain until you feel real heartbreak.

I can't be mad at her for feeling like this. She's become my other half... my person. We do almost everything together. Since she's been mine, we've been inseparable and in this moment I'm snatching that away.

"Chris do you understand that if you do this, you'll lose me forever? You won't be able to hold or touch me... no more kisses. You won't be able to wake up to me... you won't even be able to make love to me anymore. You're ready to forfeit all of that??" She asked in a somber tone.

The look in her eyes just radiated sorrow. Her heart was heavy and so is mine.

It took me a while to form an answer because I'm dealing with a mental warfare right now. I'm not ready to lose none of this shit, but I'm afraid for her.

"You know what? I've never in my life begged a man to stay with me if he didn't want to. That's what I've been spending the last few moments doing with you and it's the first and last time that'll be happening. I know my worth and I love incredibly hard. I know that I've given my all to this whether I was in danger or not. I've adored and cherished you with every bone in my body. I've trusted you countless times with my heart and my life no matter how much baggage I had before."

She continued.

"I was afraid to fall for someone again, but you reassured me that you wanted me. You promised you wouldn't leave or hurt me... Even with my hesitation, I still let you break down walls when I didn't have to. I shared things with you that no one knows..." I sighed as she poured out her heart to me.

I'm regretting my decision as we speak because my mind wasn't and still isn't clear from shit that took place. My choice was impulsive and I didn't consider all factors that play a part in our relationship.

I tried to reach for her, but she snatched her hand away. Fuck man.

"You came into my life when I was at a low point, you picked me up, and helped me blossom into someone that I didn't know I had the strength to be again... and then you wanna just rip this to shreds as if our love doesn't speak for itself.."
She said wiping all of her tears away... allowing anger to pierce through.