AS 01: Agent Uno | Cathleen Valecerina

23

ONE... TWO... I blinked, and the green land welcomed my eyes. I was confused about how and why I was there, yet I still dared to walk around. I just walked until I reached the top of a hill where a clean, white, and rustic picnic set had been prepared.

Overlooking the meadow, I felt at ease. The wind blew, taking the endless land of reeds in its direction. The sun was the primary source of light and heat that balanced the coldness of the wind. Everything here was perfect.

Though confused, I lay on the white blanket but didn't know where it came from. The wind was taking the hem of my dress, so I decided to cover it with a readily prepared blanket inside a simple yet rustic picnic basket. I am still confused, but I lay there, rested, and waited for, I don't know what.

Humiga ako ng ilang segundo, minuto at oras. Alam kong natatagalan na akong nakahiga pero ni isang sakit sa katawan ay wala akong nadama. Sa sobrang perpekto ng paligid, nakapagpahinga ako ng payapa, malayong-malayo mula sa buhay ko bilang isang agent.

Alam ko naman kung sino ako pero nagsimula akong magtaka nang wala man lang akong kasama. Hindi ko rin alam kung bakit ako narito at kung gaano katagal ba dapat akong manatili rito. Hindi ko rin naman alam kung nasaan ako at ang tanging alam ko lang ay kung ano ang nakita ko pagmulat ng mga mata ko.

I'm confused, but this kind of peace is so addicting. It was so addicting that I already wanted to stay here. My body doesn't want to leave the peacefulness of this place. Thus making me close my eyes once again and enjoy my rest.

"LOVE, IT'S been five years. Ito na ang ikalimang taon mula nang mawala sa atin ang kambal. Hindi ka pa rin ba gigising? Hindi mo parin ba ako sasamahang magluksa nang maayos mahal?" I softly whispered near her ears.

For the past five years, I did nothing but to focus my full attention on her and on finding cure for her. Limang taon na siyang natutulog sa harapan ko at ang pinakakinakatakot ko sa lahat ay limang taon ko na rin siyang hinihila sa pagitan ng buhay at kamatayan. The past five years quickly went away but it was a very heavy burden to carry. Hindi ko nga alam kung paano ko kinakaya ang lahat lalo na nang mamili ako kung sino sa kanila ang bubuhayin ko.

Cath was already in deep sleep when we discovered she was pregnant. We couldn't determine if that was good news or bad, considering her unstable state. Tito Clis and Tito Claudio also got mad at me. Still, we couldn't do a reverse card because life had already been formed.

Pinilit naming panatilihing maayos ang kalagayan ni Cath habang binabantayan rin ang buhay sa loob niya pero nagbago ang lahat nang malaman naming kambal ang dinadala niya. Mahirap, napakahirap panatilihing normal ang sitwasyon nila kaya imbes na pilitin pa kinailangan kong pumili kung sino ang mas mainam na panatilihing buhay.

I don't know if it was my best decision, but I chose to keep her. That same night, we opened her up and sacrificed two angels. Since then, I have carried the burden my decisions have brought, and I'm ready to face her anger once she knows what I've done.

Tumitig lamang ako sa kanya habang mahigpit na nakahawak sa kaniyang mga kamay nang muli kong marinig ang tunog na lagi kong inaagapan sa nakaraang limang taon. "Assistance!" I shouted at the intercom as the apparatus connected to her started beeping crazily.

I immediately cleared the bed and checked her rhythm. It was weak and unsteady. It happens, and it happens again. [I have to act fast!] I shouted and reminded myself, making me jump on the bed and start my CPR performance.

Hindi ko alintana ang hingal at patuloy lang ako sa pagbabalik buhay sa kaniya. Okupado ang utak ko sa ginagawa ko kaya hindi ko na napapansin ang paligid hanggang sa may mag-abot ng defibrillator sa harapan mismo ng mga mata ko.