Oh Captain, My Captain: Jonathan Toews

Chapter 5: What am I Doing?

I took a deep breath and watched her skate across the ice to the bench. Her hair was pulled back into a pony-tail and a hawks headband was wrapped around her ears. She lived in Chicago all her life and still wasn't used to the cold.

Finn looked over at me and smiled before stepping off the ice and going back to whatever she was doing before she came in here. Coach blew the whistle and we all began to file off the ice and into the locker room.

I walked in and dropped my helmet and gloves, disposed of my skates and jersey, then got up and roared out the locker room towards Finely.

I stormed into the room and slammed the door as she turned around to face me.

"Why do you do this to me," I demanded. She started to walk over to me but I backed away, "what possesses you to make me want something I can't have? You lead me on, you make me think you want me as much as I want you and damn it Finely I can't deal with it anymore. I have this fantastic girl who wants me so bad and I can't give her the time of day because all I do is think of the way your lips feel on mine! Millie loves me, man does she love me, and I can't love her back because the only girl I freaking want is you!" I argued.

She looked at me with tears falling from her eyes and making their way down her cheeks and to the floor. "Listen to me when I say this because I'm only going to say it once. I am so captivated by you. I look at you and suddenly I'm back in high school. You are my Prince Charming. Jonathan, you hold my heart in those two hands and you put it to whatever beat you want. You have turned me upside down and I'm so infatuated with you that I make excuses to myself. I tried to talk myself out of it. I'm married for Christ sakes. Bottom line I need you more than anything. Jonathan Bryan Toews I am yours. Do with me what you will."

I held back the tears as she confessed whatever love it was she has for me. I soon realized the tears I was trying to let out wouldn't come. I didn't have any left thanks to this girl.

"I can't believe you, Finn, I can't believe that because I tried to and all it got me was sleepless nights and hangovers. I need proof," I begged.

She walked over to her desk and grabbed a packet of papers. I walked closer to her as she dropped them on the table in front of me.

"I'm leaving him," she explained, "I'm leaving him for you. I don't know if you even want me but I'm leaving him for you."

I walked over to her and gripped her waist in my hands. She ran her hand down the scar on my forearm.

"One day it'll just be us," I promised, "us and whatever kids we decide to have. We'll be happy."

She looked down then back up at me. I pulled her into me so our bodies would be touching. Her fingers trickled up my bare arm. I leaned down and pressed my lips to hers. I could taste vodka on her lips. It poured off as if it was the only things to touch them in a long time.

I leaned back from the kiss and looked at her with pain in my eyes, "Finn, how drunk are you?" I asked.

"Would it matter if I was just remarkably hungover?" She asked.

I sighed and took a house key out of my pocket. "Go to my place. I'll be home soon."

She agreed then walked out. I wasn't far behind her when Corey came up behind me.

"She's married dude. Are you stupid?" He joked.

"Why don't you mind your own business, Crawford!" I argued as I stormed off to the locker room.

I quickly changed into jeans, a black nike hoodie, vans, and a grey beanie. Kaner slapped my back on my way out and I rushed off to Finely.

I got in my car and sat there in the parking lot. Suddenly it all hit me, it hit me like a truck. I pulled my phone out and typed in Finn's number. The phone rang twice before her voice came from the other side.

"hey yeah look I need you to leave. Just get in your car and go home. Leave the key on the counter." I instructed her before hanging up.