Oh Captain, My Captain: Jonathan Toews

chapter 19

Finn:

*six years later*

I pulled into Jon and Ary's drive way. ella bolted from the front door to greet me and Jon followed soon after. he pulled his hood on top of his head and met me by the door.

"hey" he was quiet like always on pickup. this wasn't new. it was three years into it and every time he acted the same.

"how was she?" I asked. Ella ran across the yard chasing Jon's dog.

"she was good. I'm gonna miss her during season."

"I'll bring her up to watch you and she'll see you in Dallas."

"I know. but still. how's... uh... how's Jamie?" he asked.

"he's good. ready to see Ella," I explained. Jon was always weird about the situation. Jamie and I were no longer together but he still loves Ella and still wanted to see her.

a year or two after I had Ella it was undeniable she was Jon's. she took everything seriously and had a work ethic I'd only seen in Jonathan but still Jamie loves her. you couldn't say no to those big brown eyes and curls. she knew how to use it to her advantage.

I stared down at the ring on Jon's finger and for some reason he noticed. this time he noticed.

"it was supposed to be you," he sighed.

"but it wasn't," I finished his statement. if I could go back it would be me. I missed him and longed to have him but his happiness was obvious. he loved Ary so much and Ella adored her. I wasn't willing to take that away from them. 

" can we uh get dinner tonight?" he added. "duncs said he'd watch Ella."

"sure. everything okay?" I asked.

"yeah I just need to talk to you about something."

I nodded then lifted Ella into her car seat. Jon kissed her goodbye then walked inside and I headed back to my hotel.

after Duncan picked up Ella I began to get ready. i pulled on a black dress and some heels.

a knock came from the door and there stood Jon. he pulled at the collar of his button up but smiled

"need help?" he asked.

I nodded and turned around. he grabbed my zipper and began to slowly pull it up. his knuckles brushed up my back and painted goose bumps across my body. his breath was hot against my neck and for a moment we just stood there.

"Jon..." I whispered.

"I just need to kiss you. okay?"

I turned around and wrapped my arms around his neck. he crashed his lips onto mine and pressed my body against the wall. slowly, I kissed him back. I felt his lips and his touch against my skin and for what felt like an eternity we were back to what we used to be. before we were parents and before we crashed. when we were happy.

Jon pulled back and looked into my eyes. he mouthed the words I wish he wouldn't had. I knew we couldn't do this but I wanted nothing more than to.

"Jon wait," I begged

"I don't love you Finn. I will always love the mother of my child but other than that I don't love you. I'm sorry."

he walked out the door of the hotel  and I fell to the ground. tears fell and I sat there, wishing to have him back.

he saved me before and now, sitting in the dark, I realized I needed him to save me again.

the end