Worshiper Of His Existence

Chapter # 19

I have become a liar.... No matter what I could say, it would be only a lie

I called him, his actions, his words a lie, pretense, I didn't trust him and now... I have become an infidel myself.

"She is toying with you too, Nathaniel! She was my ex-wife!" 

With his enunciation, my very existence submerged in those inexplicable pools of ravage. Anything but not this.

"That's what she does on her fucking Father's orders..." 

My senses were in a blur, heaving breaths, I took a step back.

"What. the. Fuck. does. He. mean, Zariah?" He asked in an outraged growl, my voice constricted with tears blurring my vision. 

'Take my everything but not him.'

"Nathaniel, It was..." I paused, realizing I am stuck in an undesirable point where if I lied to him, it would shatter everything and if I didn't, I would lose him.

"It was what?" He asked, grabbing my arm, desperation slumped his tone, losing his breath, moving in sync with my rapid ones.

"It is a ruse... right?" He asked, in his hollow eyes with a non-existence glint of expectancy.

"Tell me, Zariah." He commanded, pulling me closer.

"What can she say? She will lie to you." Dante hissed, getting up from behind.

"Speak up! Tell, It's a lie, isn't it?" Nathaniel asked breathlessly, earning a wince with an immediate response which initiated the destruction of our bind.

"No, it's not. But, It was all in the past." My whispering finally broke the base of our unspoken emotions.

"W-What..?" His eyes widened, disheartened, but soon was replaced by his seethe, pushing me away. "Nathaniel, I-"

"I should have known..." He breathed out, running his hands in his hair, distressed.

"A lifeless existence as yourself can never hold emotions. It was my fault to extend my hand to begin with... You belong to darkness..." 

And my default became visible when a tear flashed in Nathaniel's eyes. He was.. disappointed in me. Again.

"You have disappointed me, Zariah."

"You have disappointed me, Zariah." He said those words to me again and my resentment for myself enhanced. I was losing him again.

Hissing, he slammed his hand on the wall, "Fuck!" Pacing around, I have never seen him like this before.

Gasping, I moved back, an involuntary tear rolled down my cheek, the deteriorating state of his was crystal, I did this. I broke his heart again. I hurt him again. I.. became a puppet again.

"I feel so stupid to expect something from you." he hissed, pointing his finger at me in contempt, lowering my head in dejection, I have no words.

"It... was all before. I.. am sincere to our bond.. I swear... it was in the past..." I tried to speak in a broken tone, but he held my arm.

"Can it fix anything?" He snarled, digging nails in my skin, hopelessness glistening on his face left all of us astonished and even in this state, I amplified his agony.

"What broke.. In the first place? What do we have... that it hurts you?" I asked in a faded dejected voice.

"What are we to begin with, Nathaniel?" I asked, rage and ache mixed together, closing my eyes as a tear rolled down but he grabbed my jaws, forcing me to meet his devastating eyes.