Home is a person - Lizzie Olsen

-10-

Freya's pov

It's been 5 hours since my...meltdown if that's what you want to call it. Lizzie's getting ready for bed and i'm sitting on the bathroom floor, holding a blade.

Gosh, i'm already screwed up enough I don't need Lizzie to be stressing over me.

I know this isn't the answer to anything. Maybe i'll feel relief for a few seconds, but it won't end the suffering. Plus, if she finds out it'll be an even better reason for her to send me to some shithole of a place. I put the blade away, but I don't throw it out. Maybe i'll need it for later.

I feel horrible, I don't know what to do. Like I genuinely don't know how to cope with all of this and-

"Freya? Are you alright?" Lizzie says, interrupting my thoughts.

"Yeah." I reply.

"How are you doing, honey?" Lizzie asks, softly.

"Better." I lie.

"Your a shit liar." She says.

I let out a small laugh. "I'm okay, I promise."

"Please come get me if you ever need any help. I don't care if it's in the middle of the night, I just want you to be okay." She says. "I want to talk to you about something though."

I nod hesitantly.

"So, we know the hospital won't be an option." She states.

I tense up a bit, and she puts a hand on my shoulder causing me to relax.

"So, I was thinking that we could find a therapist?"She says.

"I don't uh feel very comfortable telling someone all my problems." I state.  

"That's absolutely fine. Do you think you'd be alright if we could meet with someone who specializes in eating disorders? You don't have to talk with them about your feeling yet, but they'd help us with your recovery planning." She says.

"Okay..." I say, still unsure of all of this.

"Great, i'll contact some people tomorrow. You get some good sleep, alright?" Lizzie says.

"Goodnight Lizzie." I say, giving her a small smile. I really do appreciate all her effort.

"Goodnight Freya! Sleep well!!" She says, smiling.

As soon as she leaves the room, I go back to the bathroom and take the blade out. The urge to do this would not go away, so here I am sitting on the cold ceramic tiles.

Lizzie's pov

As soon as I leave her room, I can't shake off a feeling that something bad is going to happen. I decide to ignore it for now...she said goodnight. She's okay. I start cleaning the kitchen a bit, rearranging already organized shelves. I just needed something to get my mind off of this.

I picked up a book, and tried to read. I couldn't focus at all, maybe I should check on her. What if something really did happened to her.

I walk back to her bedroom, opening the door.

I knew I thought something bad happened, but I was not expecting this.

I'm sorry for writing such short chapters 😭 😭 Anywaysss next few chapters will be eventful.