Home is a person - Lizzie Olsen

-23-

Freya's pov

It's been a few days since i've had the tube in, and i'm still not used to it. Its made me depressed. I can't look at myself in the mirror anymore without having a full blown mental breakdown.

Lizzie's been by my side the entire time. She's been worried sick about me and i've tried to make her feel better, but that's just Lizzie.

I haven't left my bed today and I don't plan on doing so. I've found a new show called 'The Rookie". I think i'm a little obsessed with cop shows, but I do want to be a cop as my career. As i'm watching the show, Lizzie knocks on my door.

"Come in." I say, my attention still focused on the TV.

"Hey baby, how are you feeling?" She asks softly.

"What do you think?" I scowl. "Sorry, i'm grumpy. You didn't do anything wrong" I apologize.

"It's okay baby, your going through something extremely tough right now. I'm so so proud of you." She coos, hugging me. "Eugh, you stink!" She says, releasing from the hug.

"Lizzieee." I whine.

"Go shower, Freya. After come downstairs to the kitchen, we are going to try to eat a full meal." She says, leaving my room.

A full meal? What's the point of the tube then. I don't need to eat a full meal, the tube is enough. She's out of her mind.

I strip my clothes and quickly run into the shower.

I genuinely don't think I can even eat a meal without having a panic attack.

I finish showering and throw on some clothes.  walk downstairs to see a plate of mac n cheese and Lizzie sitting across from it.

"Hey bubs, how was your shower?" She asks.

"Fine." I mutter.

"Freya, I know this is challenging, but your a strong girl. You can do this, honey." She coos.

"Lizzie, I can't" I say, tears starting to fall down my face. 

"Honey.." She says. "Come, just one bite."

I stare at the plate in front of me.

"I can't do this." I mutter.

"Okay, that's okay. How about a fruit platter?" She asks

"Yes please." I say.

Fruit seems a lot easier to eat right now. It's always been my comfort food. Well, that and ice cream of course.

"Alright Freya, here you go!" Lizzie beams.

"Thanks." I mutter.

I pick up a fork and stab some fruit with it. I stare at my fork for a while before deciding I should probably put it in my mouth.

"I'm so proud of you!" Lizzie coos.

This is a lot harder than I thought, but I push through it because i'm going to get rid of it anyway.

I finally finish and excuse myself back to my room to go "watch tv".

I kneel in front of the toilet, making myself get rid of the fruit I just ate. It hurts. My throat burns  so badly. It never used to hurt this bad.

"Freya..." Lizzie says, who was leaning at the doorway with a disappointed look on her face.

I'M ALIVE