his favourite harmony ✔ | seaycee (sean and kaycee)

chapter 20

how can i be ready to lose it all,
when a boy standing in front of me,
is asking me to love him?

♡♡♡

"A dance company from Canada called."

Sean felt a dread in her voice when she said that, but if one of the companies she visited and worked with during her trip there called her back, it must be of good reason right?

Right?

"Well, how did that go?"

"Okay I guess. Probably called just to check up on me you know." Kaycee forced a smile, yet knowing deep down she had to lie through her teeth.

The dance company had called, wondering if she was okay with joining them as a instructor there. Initially, she was all in into the idea. But when her eyes landed on Sean, her chain of thoughts froze.

Leaving Canada and coming home was one of the best things she has ever done. She not only got back with her family and friends, but also became something more with Sean.

But going back to Canada meant that she might lose one of the two. She would probably lose Sean.

She was not ready for a long-distance relationship, since she always heard her friends who did it before say it never works out.

And she wanted Sean and Kaycee to last. Not because of social media, family or friends. Because Kaycee wanted it. She wanted them to last.

The thoughts consumed and overwhelmed her so much that Sean suddenly reached for her face and wiped off what seemed to be was a tear.

"Hey, all is good?" Sean lowered his head to Kaycee's level and asked.

"Ye-yeah. I'm good. Just remembered something sad. Anyways, should we go further into the park to take some pictures, as well as some pictures with this too." Kaycee pointed at the interior of the vehicle and Sean smiled.

"Of course I will be your photographer. Taking pictures of a goddess is simply a pleasure I would gladly take." Sean picked up his camera from his backpack and helped Kaycee to get up and out of the car.

When she was finally out of the car, he gently twirled her around before leaving her a kiss on her temple.

The more love Sean showed her, the more she felt guilty. She didn't want to end it all, but if she wanted to pursue something that she has wanted to do since forever-

No.

Was that what she truly saw herself doing?

She can't be leaving Sean again. She can't bring herself to miss him from afar, even if it just a border separating the two of them.

The hurt she brought upon the two, why would she want to do that to them again?

Besides, was taking up the offer at Canada something she saw herself doing in the long term? Did she really prepare herself mentally and physically to stay there for at least 5 years?

So many questions pop into Kaycee's head at once and it overwhelmed her.

"Earth to Kaycee?" Sean tugged at her arm gently and asked.

"Mhm yeah. Present."

Sean managed a laugh, trying to cheer Kaycee's sudden dreadful face. He hated seeing her being listless or sad.

"Come on, let's watch some movies on my laptop, shall we?" Sean offered and caught her hand in his.

They both slumped into the pillows and let out a huge sigh. Their backs were a little sore and the soft cloud like pillows relieved the soreness.

He pressed a kiss on her hand while their hands were still interlocked, which made Kaycee smile a little wider.

"There you go." Sean noticed it and showed a smile ten times wider than hers.

He liked that his cheeks have been hurting a lot recently from being with Kaycee.

When her body jumped from the terrifying scenes (thanks to Sean they settled on a HORROR movie, and Kaycee could not be more grateful...), he wrapped his arm around her, just to calm her down so he could continue watching the movie.

But he could still feel a sudden coldness in her presence and he knew it had to be something to do with the phone call.

•••

As they drove back home, Kaycee didn't say a word to him. She was pouting with her arms cross in the seat next to him.

He knew this time it wasn't because of the phone call. It was because he made her watch the entire movie with her eyes wide open. And now she will be traumatised to go to sleep for the next few nights.

"Hey, I'm sorry." Sean apologised, yet trying to hide his cheeky smile.

"You aren't." Kaycee rolled her eyes, but did give in to show a little grin on her face after.

"You can never be angry at me, can you?"

"How would you know?"

"You would be the one to say 'I hate you' but with a large smile on your face."

"Oh shut up."

"You want me to shut up because I know your deep secret."

"Shhh that's girl stuff. Guys aren't suppose to know these things."

"Well oopsies, my bad."

Kaycee chuckles and plants a kiss on my cheek so that my eyes can remain on the road ahead of me.

•••

When Kaycee was finally home and alone with her thoughts, she took out her phone and typed out everything she had in her head.

i don't know what to do. they just called me not long ago telling me that they want me to officially join them. they even offered me a dance scholarship alongside it to a college nearby. isn't that such a great offer? but i just got things back on track with sean, and are slowly getting together. i want to continue staying here and finish up my education, while being able to be near sean and hang out with him every day. i feel so contradicted. i don't know if sean and i are ready to do a long-distance relationship, since our relationship still has more building up to do before we can do such a large step. i don't want to lose him either, because he is all i live for. he was there to see me through my ups and downs in life, and i want to do the same for him too. so staying here would grant me that. and if i headed back to Canada to take that offer, how long will i be there for? it could be 2 years. and i can't be physically away from sean for 2 years. what should i do? maybe we could try? just maybe? we are worth fighting for, and i hope we can make it through this one together.

As she typed those last words in, she couldn't help but smile through the tears that had fallen down her cheeks.

We are worth fighting for, right?