WARNING; this chapter contains: mentioning of a loss of a loved one
( Keep in mind that I wrote this one right after season 1 lol)
HOME
wilhelm
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THIRD PERSON'S POV:
Words were echoing in his head non-stop. No matter how hard he tried to ignore them; they were there. Slowly burning, killing him from the inside. "I love you" What stupid sentence to say goodbye with! What a pathetic thing to admit! What a painful feeling! Especially, if you are the only one who actually feels it... He wished he could take it back - but he was no longer there in that moment. It flied away the second Simon had left his side. He didn't care he cried, he didn't try to comfort him; he just walked away like there was no unspoken words left between them.
Wilhelm was resting his head against the window of the car that was taking him home. Home. He was going home, but was it really home? Wasn't that Simon? Didn't he just lose him forever?
It was raining. He began to count the raindrops that have fallen onto the window, silently watching as they slid down on the glass. When he was younger, he always played that there was a race between the drops. It made him so happy, when the one he has chosen, won. Oh, how problem-free those times were... He had nothing to worry about! And it's so unfair, that he had to grow up so fast, to suddenly have so many! Life is very, very unfair...
One single tear had fallen down his cheeks. He didn't care enough to wipe it away. It was salty, and it burnt his skin - but it still caused less pain, than the one that was aching his soul.
Oh, he's so innocent. Still so young. And he did nothing wrong. Besides that, he fall in love, with the right person, in the wrong time. He believes in that now. Not always did, thought. His brother once told him that, and he just shook his head; how could love come in the wrong time? If you love each other, the time, when you do it, doesn't matter - he responded to the older's ridiculous statement with this. But that's stupid. It does matter. It indeed does.
And Simon and his relationship will never be the same again. They are not together... They probably aren't even friends anymore, for God's sake. He's alone in this now... Alone in life. He had no one, since Erik died - besides Simon. And being his idiot self, he just lost him, too. Well, what he was actually waiting for, honestly? He always fails in literally everything. Why would love would be the only difference?
He wonders why is that... Is he a bad person? Did he do something bad? That bad? Is he cursed? Does he really deserves all of this? Or it's just happens by coincidence? But there is no such a thing as coincidence. Everything has a reason to happen... But, to take Simon - his only happiness - away from him... What was the reason for that?
Is there anybody who's going to answer all those questions? Or, should he stop waiting, and accept his fate?
He was fully crying by now. Everybody in the car saw him, and yet, nobody cared enough to ask anything. They remained silent, acting like they haven't noticed his breakdown. They always did that. Even his mother - what was he waiting from the staff? Why would they care about him more than they have to? They aren't paid for dealing with his feelings... Nobody is.
"We have arrived, Prince." Said somebody. Probably Malin. He couldn't recognize the voice - he was too busy with trying to not break into sobs in front of everyone. He just nodded, not even waiting for someone to open the door for him. He stormed out of the car, not even stop to greet his parents, he ran to his bedroom, without looking back.
He stepped in. It should feel like home, as it always did, but now... It was all so foreign... And empty. Silent. And also cold. He just arrived, but he was already missing his small, crowded, but yet so home-like and cozy dormroom, which was filled with Simon's beautiful voice once. Oh God, Wilhelm loved his voice. Still do. Not only when he's singing; always. When he talks, or giggles, or laughs... Or groans... Oh, those amazing nights they shared with each other...
Simon was his first love - in every possible way. He was his first kiss. The first person he ever truly liked. His first relationship - boyfriend. Before him, he didn't even know that he's into boys. Not that girls would interest him, after all... And the person he had sex with for the first time in his life. And he regretted nothing. They didn't do anything wrong! It's not like people in their age don't have sex! It's not like they don't touch each other the way Simon and Wilhelm did! Everyone acts like they commited a crime! But they did not... They did not! It's not any of the boys' fault that it got recorded by someone - August. They aren't the right people to blame for that! Actually, they are just victims. Especially Simon, whose face can be clearly seen in the video. Because Wille could deny it. And he did it, in a very disgusting way. He left Simon alone, even though, Wilhelm was the one who promised him that they are together in this - and then, he betrayed the only boy he ever loved. Still love, thought... Is it too late to apologise? It's never too late, right? It's never too late to regret something you did under a huge pressure... Right? He wasn't in a situation like this before, but he genuinely hoped so.
He grabbed his phone to text Simon, but he got distracted by the his background. It was a picture of him and Simon; his boy. They were smiling so widely. He just looked at it, and he could tell; yes, there was times when things were ok, and they were happy. In the picture, Wilhelm was standing behind Simon, with both of hands around the shorter's waist. Simon was holding one of his hands, and with his other one, he took the picture.
Tears were swirling in Wille's eyes. If other people would see him now - the internet, maybe - so many of them would laugh at him. So pathetic, the Crown Prince's crying over a boy. So pathetic, they would say. But nobody can understand his feelings! His pain... And nobody even tries to...
He sighed before sending the quick message he wrote for Simon. He wasn't sure if it's the right thing to do, or not, but he's going to do it anyways. He has to. That's the most he can do now. One last shy, hopeful smile, and it's sent. Then, he turned his phone down, plugged it into the charger, since it's battery was pretty low, closed his eyes, wishing he could go back to the past, changing his future for the better...
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( It was really weird to bring this out again since I wrote it a long time ago and my writing style has changed - and improved, I hope so - but I wanted to put it in here, since it's the first Wilmon oneshot I've ever written. I made an another one, too, with Simon's point of view, it's coming next
Hope you guys liked it<3)
~milla
