WARNING; this chapter contains; mentions of toxic and abuse past relationships and underage, illegal sex
STARTER NOTES; this is basically the additional part of the previous chapter, 'A TYPCIAL MORNING WITH WILMON'. It gives you a little explaination of Simon's past, but it's mainly about his guilty thoughts and Wille's reaction. Hope you guys'll like it!
HERE FOR YOU
wilhelm x simon
♡
The converstation ahead them was eating Simon up from the inside. It made him feel guilty for keeping his past hidden as a secret from Wille for so long; he should've let him know at the beginning. Wille had every rights to know what he was getting himself into, and Simon has forbidden him from the truth.
He was pacing around in his room, waiting for his boyfriend's arrival. He'll be there soon. Too soon. After Simon sent the ominous 'we need to talk, can you please come over?' text, that Wille immediately replied with a simple 'yes, i'm coming', Simon was sure that he was already on his way while typing the message. He probably asked Malin to give him a drive, or he could've called a taxi... It didn't really matter how, the point was that he was getting there.
Simon began to rethink his life choices. From the beginning, because what was his thirteen year old self thinking when agreed to give seventeen year olds - that were gay, closeted and shamefully kinky - blowjobs? For free - okay, this made it sound even worse, but he was struggling internally, and currently on the edge of falling apart completely. He couldn't even listen to his own thoughts; he was losing his mind, as the black car pulled onto the driveway - he saw it all from his window, but he tried to convince himself that he was just hallucinating.
He could no longer lie to himself once he heard the doorbell rang, and his mom's voice yelling, "Simon, your boyfriend's here!" Send him home, - he wanted to say, but couldn't force the words out of his mouth. His throat was dry, he felt as if he was being choked... Is this how Wille felt whenever he had an anxiety attack?
He gulped before leaving his room to finally open the door for Wilhelm who practically threw himself at him, and pulled him into a hug. "Why didn't you answer the rest of my texts?" He exclaimed, gasping for air once he let go. Simon didn't even have time to return the hug. Everything was happening too fast, and he was lost somewhere else. "You invite me over and then you ignore everything I send. You had me worried sick, I thought something was wrong!" But... Something is wrong, - Simon thought, but didn't make a comment on it.
"We should go to my room," he said emotionless. Refusing to make eye-contact, he kept his gaze on the floor, and he made his way towards his room without reaching for Wille's hands. It would be a lie that it didn't hurt the Prince's already unstable feelings, but he decided to follow his boyfriend to find out what all of this is about.
Simon was in total panic by now. Talking about Marcus was one thing. He wasn't even a fling, he wasn't even a date, he meant nothing; and Wille brought him up. But this... Talking about those people whom he had been with and lost count of, that were a part of him, a part of his past as if they had been built inside there, haunting him like they were the ghosts of his life... Shame took over his whole body, and he felt like he'll throw up at the thought of himself, being touched by so many at such a young age. He felt sick of himself for letting all of this happen; but on the other hand, he was just a child. Only thirteen years old. He didn't even know what was he actually doing back then, he just did the things that he had been told.
