starter notes; Okkkay i know I said I'll post something else but I haven't been writing for a while and idk when I'll finish it, so I decided to go with this one. Which I literally hate, but enjoy you guys 🥲
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WILLE'S LITTLE CRUSH
simon x wilhelm & erik
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Ever since Erik learned about Wille's little crush - whom he still refused to refer such as a 'crush', but Erik kept teasing him with that stupid and extraordionarily annoying word - he wouldn't shut up about it. It wasn't even Wille, who brought the topic up all the time; it was Erik. But honestly, what else could have he done, when he was just so excited for his little brother? He also complained a lot, because no matter how many times he asked for at least a name; Wille just wouldn't give him one. And Erik knew well, that the boy enjoyed his suffering, which was extremely rude - Erik didn't raise him that way - but of course, seeing Wille happy, made him happy enough, itself.
He remembered his first love like it was yesterday. He was barely a year younger than Wille is now, when he met a special girl, named Astrid in Hillerska. She used to be his classmate; they sat next to each other most of their classes - usually by accidents, though - and Erik couldn't help, but fall in love with her and her attitude. She had light brown hair, and the greenest eyes to ever exist; she wore crop-tops and short skirts; always got dress-coded for her clothing, but never cared enough to change her ways. She often gave voice to her rebellation; she visited the headmistress' office almost on daily basis for making out with different girls in the halls during lessons - long story short; she was everything Erik could never have.
Liking; loving her hopelessly, caused unspeakable amount of pain for the Crown Prince, knowing there was no condition he had at least a slight chance with her, but eventually, he understood that they weren't made for each other. The way they lived their lives couldn't ever fit together. Astrid didn't swing his ways, and Erik wasn't allowed to accept the behaviour she had, either. They couldn't even be friends. Erik never made the first move, and Astrid just simply wasn't bothered to take a step towards him. But Erik was grateful to watch - admire - her from afar. It was enough for him back then.
He moved on now, of course, he wasn't holding onto something impossible for almost seven years, but it always felt nice to recall a few memories from his high school years. Even though it was still full of rules and duties; he had the chance to experience what the word 'freedom' meant...
"Can we talk?" Wille approached him with slow, careful steps; fingers tugging on his hair in the sign of distress. Being his brother, Erik - of course - knew about Wille's anxiety, so he straightened up in his seat, indicating that he's paying full attention.
"Yeah, sure," Erik nodded, not expecting anything serious, but still concerned by Wille's agitation. "What's up? You seem pale, is everything okay?"
"Yeah..." Wille nodded, bringing his hands to his chest in the old habit. He felt the tension rising inside him, as if his ribs were wrapped around his organs, squeezing the last bit of air out of his lungs. Trying to break free from it's cage, his heart began to beat faster and faster with every second that has passed, Wille gripped on the neck of his shirt, tight, as if it was the last thing he could hold onto. "I'm..." He mumbled, eyes filled with tears; his vision was a one, confluent blur. He gasped, choking on his own breath; lips dry, head dizzy.
"Hey, Wille, what is it?" Like he just snapped, Erik's voice finally brought him back to reality. Fresh air filled his lungs so suddenly, it caught Wille on a surprise, but he was grateful to be able to breathe again. He has been having attacks since the age of ten, yet, he could never get used to the feeling of being suffocated, and having to fight for air. It was just as scary as the first time, when he had zero clue of what was happening to him; his body. He couldn't even cry, when the room started to spin with him... He didn't even dare to think about what could've happened if Erik didn't find him in time. He was unable to calm down by himself. He needed Erik, and he was there... He was always there, he never left Wille alone... Ever since he was born; Erik supported and helped him, no matter what he did. Wille needed the reminder of that.
