( This is the other version of 'Home' - it's Simon's POV:D )
ALONE
simon
♡
THIRD PERSON'S POV:
I LOVE YOU.
I LOVE YOU.
I LOVE YOU.
He couldn't get Wilhelm's words out of his head. All he could do is thinking about them, recalling them... Crying over everything what just have happened. What should've he done differently. Because it's clear, that he messed something up... Or maybe... Him, and Wilhelm were just simply not meant to be. The Crown Prince - who Wilhelm was,- would marry some girl anyways. Maybe, it's actually better, in this way. He would never ever admit, especially not now, but, he loved Wille too. No... Not just loved, not in past-form... He still does. Simon loves Wille. But those feelings will go away, eventually. They weren't deep, or anything.
They - I mean, Wille and him - weren't madly in love with each other. They didn't even know each other, they just met. A few months, and neither of them will remember. Will they?
They probably will, even if Simon doesn't want to. All he wants to do is, to move on already. He had enough of feelings, dramas, and love, for his whole life. But - even tough Simon doesn't see it right now - what they had with Wille was special. Not every couple has that kind of chemistry that they did.
Deep down, even Simon knew that isn't completely gone. They'll see each other again. Soon, in fact. Winter break is only two weeks long. And after that, Simon will have to go back to the school, to see his ex-boyfriend - or whatever Wille was - in classes, and has to act like everything is fine between them, because he promised that they could still be friends. But, honestly, is there any chance that they ever could look at each other just as friends? Because Simon doesn't think so. They were never just friends, not even in the beginning.
He watched as the car drove away. He saw Wille's red eyes, with a tears in their corners, puffy cheeks, and misarable look. Simon almost went after him. Almost. What a stupid thing it is... Why does it exist? Did, or did not... It would be enough, wouldn't it?
It would save everyone from regretting something that didn't even happen.
Did it make sense? Does his toughts make any sense? He wasn't sure anymore... His mother always told him that he's smart, but in fact, no, he's not. He knows nothing. Nothing, what would matter in life. He probably did once, but thanks to the amazing Crown Prince, he forgot all of it. Which is pathetic. But not just for Simon - for both of them.
They were supposed to be in this together! Wille is a coward, a liar, and a betrayer. Simon doesn't need someone like him in his life. He won't hide himself for anyone. Not even if he loves this person. He's not some object, that Wilhelm can throw away, anytime he doesn't want it to be seen - unbelievable, but Simon has feelings too. Just as rights, and future, there is no difference between him, and Wilhelm, just because he is just an average person, while the other boy is the Crown Prince of Sweden. They both are just teenagers in this situation, nothing more. Teenagers, who tought they are grown enough to love someone, withouth being selfish.
Maybe, Wille was just scared. From this cruel world's reaction. But it's 2021 - almost 2022. It couldn't be that bad, right? Well, yeah, a few people would hate on them, but come on, the hating would never go away. Not in thousand years. There will be always someone who will loath you for being yourself. This is how life works. Simon believes, those people who are hating you - when you are happy, - without actually knowing you, are just jealous of your success. And are desparate, to see you fail. So, show them that you are stronger, than they think you are! This, is Simon's lifestyle, this is why he became the person he is now. He won't lie - like Wille did, - it was a long way, and a huge process; but he did it, and look at him, what a good person he is! This maybe sounds boastful, but... He is not a bad person... He did nothing wrong... All he did was living his own life, being himself, with someone he loves. And it was great. It made him good; his life good.
"Should we go home?" Sara's voice pulled Simon out of his toughts. God, he's thankful for that.
"What?" He heard the question clear, but for some reason, it didn't got to his brain.
"Should we go home?" Sara repeated patiently.
"Yeah... Yeah, that would be nice." Simon nodded with a small smile appearing on his face. Sara is his greatest strength. He has to be happy for his sister - if not for anyone else. Sara's always been on his side.
"Should I call mom, or-"
"No, don't bother her, she's probably still at work, let's just take the bus."
"Fine." She agreed. "There is something I need to tell you later." She added randomly. She does that sometimes, it didn't surprise Simon.
"Ok, go on, you can tell me now too, if you want to."
"I want to tell it when Mom can also hear it."
"Oh, right."
With that, they began their short walk to the bus-stop, and Simon had no idea, what a crazy thing was his sisternup to...
•
He was laying in his bed, watching the blank ceiling, and playing with his fingers. He was alone...
Well, that's so not true. Of course not, because he had an amazing family, and amazing friends on his side, He's aware of that. Yet, he felt so alone, in a strange way he never did before. His mind was blank. His thoughts made no sense. In one hand, he wished he would never have to see Wille again, but in the other, he already missed him. Missed the way he talked; walked; smiled; laughed... The way Wille hugged, or kissed him. The way he touched him. But they were not meant to be.
At the first chance Wille had, he told Simon that he is not like that. He is not like gay. Simon knows that's not true - well yeah, it would be really weird if he didn't have noticed it, they kissed multiple times, and did even more - but maybe, it would be better if he would've leave Wille to believe in his own statement. I mean, the precious Crown Prince would be straight - yes, he also knows that it's not how it works, but this whole thing is just in his head, and theoretical, and he's upset - he would probably have some girlfriend at the time, and well... He probably wouldn't even care about Simon anymore. He would say it was just a phase. And people would believe him. Because he's rich, royal, and shit. But while he's all of these; Simon's nothing else, just alone.
♡
( I remember the depressed state I was in when I wrote it ALMOST 2 years ago lol
Hope you liked it<3 don't forget to vote if you did )
~milla
