The Wallflower of Parkview High

Chapter Thirty Nine

I had never been so nervous before in my life than in this moment.

All day today I kept walking to and looking out of the window to see if that shiny black car had pulled up in front or our driveway - even at 6:00 in the morning when I doubt everyone was up ("after all, something may have happened that would cause Zander to arrive very early at the crack of dawn, you never know" was basically my thought process at that time when Dad asked me what I was doing staring out of the dark window so early in the morning). When I was not doing that, I was busy staring at whichever clock was closest to me at the time so intensely that it looked like I was having a staring contest with it.

It was really a miracle how Charlotte and Dad didn't think I had gone crazy - or at least I think so since they didn't give an indication that they did.

However, at exactly 8:45, Charlotte must have been fed up with me peeking out the living room window and staring at clocks every other minute because she paused the episode of the TV show she was watching, set down the remote and glared at me.

"For god's sake, can you stop doing that?" she snapped, turning around to look at me.

"Can I stop doing what?" I asked with an innocent tone of voice, closing the shades to the window for about the trillionth time in that hour alone.

"Can you stop looking out of the window every few seconds! It's honestly driving me crazy and it doesn't help that you're climbing over the couch cushions and getting in my personal space when I'm trying to watch TV!"

"But-" I started to say but she cut me off.

"He isn't even going to arrive for another hour or two so I don't need to see why you have to worry about it now."

"Charlotte, you don't understand", I sighed, "This isn't just some random person who's stopping by for dinner. This is Zander! He's my friend and he said that he's going to teach me how to run so I want everything to go smoothly!"

"I know that, but I don't understand why you're so worried about it. It's not like you're going to prom with him or anything - or at least not yet."

"Anything - and I mean anything - could go wrong to ruin this day so I have to be prepared!" I huffed, purposely ignoring the little comment she made about me not yet going to prom with Zander, "Like, what if his car breaks down on the way here and he can't come over! Or what if he arrives early and I'm not dressed yet and he sees me in this light pink sweater and teddy bear socks? What if some random meteor appears and it destroys our house so we're just standing there amongst the remains and Zander arrives and he sees us and he-"

"Noah," Charlotte said, interrupting my bit of rambling, "I'm pretty sure a meteor won't destroy our house and I'm pretty sure he won't arrive early, considering the fact that he arrived almost a half an hour late the last time he was here."

"B-But-"

"I'm pretty sure everything will work out. If you're really nervous, you could just text him or something and tell him your worries."

When those words left Charlotte's mouth, I just stood there and stared at her.

No way was I going to text Zander right now. No fucking way.

"That's even worse!" I shrieked, plopping down next to her on the couch, grabbing one of the couch cushions and burying my face in it, "If I text him that I'm worried then he'll think I'm a baby or that I'm overreacting and decide not to come over because he doesn't want to hang out with a baby and he'll then decide that he doesn't want to be my friend anymore and will break off any form of contact with me and when I get back to school after break, I'll be the topic of gossip once again because news spreads fast at that school and he's popular so everything he does is a major source for gossip and drama and then everyone in the school, even Alicia, will side with him and gang up on me and they'll hate on me and tease me and I'll be a laughing stock and friendless once again and it'll be like all those times he laughed at me and teased me except ten times worse!" After my little rant, I pressed my face as deep as it could go into the couch cushion, tears spilling out of my eyes and down my cheeks, not caring that I may suffocate to death. Maybe it would be better if I did, since then I wouldn't have to deal with all the drama that may be waiting for me once I go back to school after the break.