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∘₊✧──────✧₊∘
∘₊✧──────✧₊∘𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐀
Getting ready for bed in his home was soothing.
I finished doing my usual evening stretches and yoga which had led to me taking a lengthy, bath with dried flowers and Epsom salts to heal my sore body. The dancing had drained me which required some intense relaxing. Nothing felt better than doing a full body night time routine and being comfy with no bra on.
I was circling around the bathroom wearing a cherry printed pyjama set with an eye mask on my head. Thankfully, Iris had arranged for all my stuff to be brought over.
It occurred to me that I had eaten too much. Or at least I thought I did.
I knew it wouldn't happen, but my mind slipped to the possibility that I could wake up the next day overweight, unable to walk with my body swelled with fat from all I had eaten. I imagined myself triple my size, heaving to breathe with a face of a pig, triple chinned and obese. I felt fat, I felt ugly. In the mirror, I found myself checking my face to reassure myself that my worries were ridiculous and completely unrealistic.
My mother's words were beginning to run through my mind. I could practically feel the whips on my stomach, the ones she gave me whenever I ate too much.
Feeling tense, I continued to stare at the toilet and almost gagged at the thought of shoving my fingers down my throat again. Swallowing roughly, I struggled to control my breath and placed my hand on my chest, feeling immense pressure to get onto my knees and barf. I was holding myself back, restraining from emptying the contents of my stomach.
I had definitely eaten too much. I would get scolded, it would all go wrong, I could relapse to binge eating and gain weight, lose my career and followers. I was panicking over nothing, I knew and yet the fears kept tormenting me if I didn't do something about this bloated, fat feeling. My stomach was going to expand and explode, I shouldn't have ate that much. I should have rejected his plate and stuck with the salad.
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𝐍𝐄𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐇𝐄
Romansa𝐧𝐞𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐡𝐞 (𝐧.) that which chases sorrow away. In their painful past, they were childhood sweethearts that sought comfort with each other. Years later, the two broken souls are pulled back together by fate in an alliance that will save their...