Dela Cuesta series #4:Mistaken Love

chapter twenty

Ganoon nga ang nangyari, he pursued me. And I don't want to assume but I can see how girls around him cried their fantasy because the most approachable Dela Cuesta is not available anymore.

He was very affectionate towards me, kahit kaharap ang mga pinsan niya ay wala siyang pakielam. He will seat next to me, he will borrow my notes and he will go with me to review on the library and I know that Riverdale is not happy about that. His piercing eyes are always on us, kaya alam kong galit na naman siya.

Should I care? Yes, but I know better. Kung magpapatuloy ba ako sa gusto niyang mangyari, may mangyayari ba sa aking mabuti?

Pero gaya ng nakagawian ko na ay hindi ko na lang din pinansin. It's not because I don't care anymore, but because I am too tired to proved myself to every person around me. Nakakapagod patunayan ang sarili ko sa mga taong palagi na lang din nakakakita ng mga mali sa mga ginagawa ko.

Really, Cale? How many chances did you give to your parents but until now they only see your twin's sufferings. Kung talagang nakakapagod, bakit ang dali lang sa 'yong baliwalain ang hindi pagpili mula sa kanila?

I took a deep breath and placed my hand that is now holding a pen on my arm rest.

I know the answer from that question but I tried not to think about it.

I am now listening to the professor in front. It's too boring, halos hindi ko na marinig ang boses ng guro na nasa harapan dahil sa kahinaan. Siguro ay dahil na rin 'yon sa katandaan kung kaya ganoon na lang kahina ang boses nito.

"Are you okay?" the usual naughty but caring and manly voice filled my ears. Lumipat ng upuan si Liam at ngayon ay nasa tabi ko na siya kaya naman madalas ay siya talaga ang nakakasama ko, kahit din naman hindi ako pumayag ay may mga pagkakataon na hindi ko maintindihan ang nangyari ay bigla na lang akong mapapasang-ayon sa kaniyang kagustuhan.

It's useless to lie kasi alam kong kilala niya ako. I took a deep breath before brooding my eyes onto him. "I badly want to forget him, can you help me?" I saw how his eyes widen in shock and his lips formed a little 'O' that made me chuckle.

It may sound a joke but I am serious. His cousin held a very special space in my life but I need to divert that. If I don't want to get hurt, I probably need to teach myself to co-exist because we can't really vanish on each others life but I also know that I can't add more tension to their cousins bond besides Liam will get hurt. Iwasan ko man pero alam ko kung anong kahihinatnan kapag ginamit ko siya.

I shook my head, proceeds to listen on the professor in front.

Kita ko sa gilid ng mga mata ko na nasa akin pa rin ang mga mata niya, he was looking at me intently, making me so uncomfortable, kaya siniringan ko siya na ikinatawa niya.

"You can always use me and dispose me, Cale," he murmered. It sound so sincere but I can't get myself into it, because I know that William is the potential rebound that will be a victim. My victim... kung hindi ko mapipigilan ang sarili kong gamitin at pumayag sa kagustuhan niya.

I sighed, isinawalang bahala ang kaniyang sinabi, I know that it is just a spur of the moment. William is kind enough to at least say yes and accept my craziness.

And besides, ayoko ng gulo. Nakakapagod...lalo na kung ipagsisiksikan mo ang sarili mo sa sa space na alam mong hindi na para sayo.

A warm hand covered mine. Liam's eyes are too worried. I can sense na kung hindi pa ako bumalik sa katinuan ay baka kung ano na ang nagawa niya. His eyes that resembles someone I know, someone I used to adore...still but now in vain.

Liam is a ball of sunshine for me. In every circumstances and problems that the world will throw there is someone who will shield us in pain and sadness, and for me... unfortunately it's Liam. I never thought that he will be that person, all I know that he as he promised will never leave at least had a dicency to protect me.