from me to you. → kth | ✓

40.

chapter forty: familiar

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hoseok

I NEED AIR. I have been in that room for hours and Aera gave me permission right before she fell asleep. After disposing of my scrubs, I pull off my face mask last, releasing my held breath.

I'm immediately interrupted from this moment of bliss, however, by three men who had surprisingly stayed over for what I assume to be the almost twelve hours we've been here for.

"Is she okay?"

"Did she pull through?"

"How is the baby?"

At first, I ignore each question and stumble over to the vending machine instead, fishing out my wallet and instantly going for a Snickers bar and a can of coke. It's not until I down the entire can and crinkle the empty wrapper under each of their darkened gazes that I answer them.

"Yes, she's fine. Yes, she pulled through. She's asleep right now."

Taehyung asks quietly, "And the baby?"

I glance away for a moment. "We're not so sure. They took him away immediately after birth. They're going to perform a neonatal resuscitation."

His hands fly up to his mouth as he bears the information in shock. Jaebeom simply stands there quietly and Yoongi sits on the chair with both of his hands on his head.

I walk up to him, gripping him by the collar. "Aren't you supposed to be dead?"

He struggles to answer, scratching at my hands. But I'm too angry to care right now. "Explain or I'll kill you for real."

Once they all realised I was speaking to just any of them, Jaebeom is the first to speak up.

"It was my fault." He says. "I asked him to leave and fake his death. But it was for a good reason!"

"Good enough to send Aera into shock? Good enough for us to have only the smallest lick of hope to hang onto that the baby will pull through?" I ask angrily.

"I didn't mean for any of this to happen, I swear." He cries as if those words were words he'd been meaning to say for a very long time. The type of words you murmur to yourself or practice in front of the mirror. "I was trying to protect her."

I scoff, looking at Taehyung. He's still upset about the news concerning the baby, which is understandable since it is his kid. I wonder if he knows that though. Probably not.

"You," I say to him. "Why were you at my house? How do you know where I live?"

"Listen, I think we'd like to speak to Aera." Jaebeom butts in.

It seems Taehyung wasn't willing to speak anyway.

"I don't think she wants to see any of you right now. Heck, the actual father of her baby wasn't even allowed in the delivery room."

"Just, please." Jaebeom pleads. "We really need to speak to her. We wouldn't have travelled this far if not."

I roll my eyes and walk into the room where Aera lies surprisingly awake and alert as if waiting for me to come in.

"What were you guys talking about?"

-

"They asked about the baby and you. I tried to get them to explain what they were doing at the house but they said it's better to speak to you directly." Hoseok says, absent-mindedly fiddling with his fingers.

I weakly glance at my phone. It's eight o'clock already. It feels like it should've been a lot longer than that, funnily enough.

"I don't know if I want to," I murmured, gazing at him.

He slowly walks closer to me and leans over, resting an affectionate hand on my cheek.

"Whatever you're comfortable with is what matters. I just don't think they'll go away until you see them, though, so could I ask them to come another time?" He asks softly.

I take time to think for some seconds and shake my head. "On second thought, let them in."

I'd rather get in over and done with now. The sooner I deal with it, the sooner they can be out of my life and things can go the way I've always wanted them to go.

He nods and gives me that smile that isn't really a smile, but one that seems forced with pursed lips.

I still can't help but feel the slightest fear, anxiety and nervousness as the door opens again, this time with just Taehyung.

"What are you doing in my life again?" I slur. "What happened to telling me goodbye?"

He looks sheepish. "I didn't want to have to leave you there. I- I wouldn't have left you there if I-"

"Knew I was pregnant? Would it make things better if you-" No. I was about to say, would it make things better if you knew that it's your son but I don't want to worsen things. I can't have him knowing. What if he takes my baby away from me? That's if he survived of course.

"Nevermind. There's no use in me complaining. What are you doing here, Taehyung?"

He sighs. "I lost it, the notebook. It's now in the hands of another person."

I scoff with disgust. "And what? You thought that I would have it."

He remains silent, only staring into my eyes with no thoughts behind his.

"Get out." I sneer.

He does exactly that without any fight or sort of resistance. It's now obvious that I must be feeding his self-pity. But I'm too weak and tired to care. I have better things to think about.

I don't even want to see Jaebeom. I don't care and the sight of him alone might make me throw up.

That leaves one person.

He walks in slowly, his loafers shuffling on the lino flooring as he shuts the door in the slightest.

"Are you even real?" I laugh humourlessly. It's a laugh that states that I'm sick and tired of this entire thing. I don't even know why or how I'm still entertaining this. Must I also move countries?

He keeps his stare on me. His pale skin is a little more tan and moisturised. His hair is no longer an icy white, but rather, a deep, dark, black. It's much longer and tucked behind his ears.

"I thought you were dead." My voice wobbles as I use the back of my hand to wipe the stupid tears leaking from my eyes. I scold myself for bothering to show any emotion. "I can't believe I was so upset."

"No. I promise it was never supposed to be like this. I was going to explain-"

"Just stop! Stop talking! How am I supposed to believe you, huh? What happened to contacting me like a sane human being? Instead, you show up at my house and now my baby-"

I cut myself off with my tears as I feel every emotion I've been holding in seep out in loud, shuddering sobs. I can't even shrug him off when he walks to my bedside and wraps his arms around me.

I hate to admit that not only is it comforting,

it's familiar.