from me to you. → kth | ✓

44.

[🥂] chapter forty-four: epiphany

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hoseok

THIS WHOLE THING has taught me that I may or may not be built for high-stress situations just like this one.

I rushed home as soon as Aera called. Taehyung is at the hospital, a private one, of course, and so far, so good. Except for her.

It's past midnight. I want to sleep, but I can't. Because she can't sleep. More like she won't sleep.

She breastfed Haneul not too long ago, which is strange since she usually pumps and feeds him with a bottle. I guess the whole trauma of the situation made her want to be closer to him. I can't really tell.

What matters is, he's asleep, leaving her with more than enough time to do what she's doing right now- pacing back and forth like a mad woman. She's dressed to sleep, in a mini nightdress, fluffy robe and fluffy socks. Her padded feet make small THUMP THUMP noises with each, heavily calculated step she takes.

"Aera you need to calm down and-"

"Calm down? Calm down!" She whisper-exclaims. I've never seen her this freaked out and she killed a man. Well, 'killed'.

She runs a stressed hand through her already very messy hair. Then, she stops abruptly. "I can't believe I let him in my house. I can't believe I let him near my son!"

All of a sudden, the tears she's been holding back for so long come flowing out. I stand from where I am, perched on the side of the bed, and envelope her in my arms. Usually, she'd hug me back, but today she doesn't. She almost recoils.

I don't blame her, she can barely catch a break.

"Why is the whole world against me?"

"Don't think about it like that," I say. "Would you say the world was against you when you got Haneul?"

"Of course not! He's the love of my life."

"Exactly. Now, I don't think I'll ever fully understand what you're going through, but I'll never stop trying to help you, okay?"

"Okay." She whispers as I let go of her to switch our bedroom light off. "I love you."

"I love you too." I smile.

-

This is the first time I'll ever follow Aera into a session with Leah. I usually don't go because I have the intention of respecting her privacy, but this time not only did she insist I come along, but Leah herself encouraged it.

The last time I met Leah was at the Welcome Home Party when they all gathered to gush around Haneul. I haven't seen her since then, so today is the day I'm getting a proper, good look at her. I won't lie, she's absolutely striking.

Her bronzed, caramel-brown skin goes amazing with the ginger-coloured curls she slicked back into a low-neck bun. Ooh, she knew what she was doing when she wore those dainty, gold earrings as well.

Her almond eyes shrink in size as her full lips stretch into a beautiful smile.

"It's nice to see you again, Aera. And you, Mr Jung."

I clear my throat and try to keep calm. "You can just call me Hoseok."

"Well, Hoseok," She says, still smiling. She says it softly as if my name were a balloon filled with helium. For the first time in a while, I liked the way it rolled off someone else's tongue. Apart from my loved ones, of course. "I'm glad to meet you. Although, I believe I saw you at the last party hosted."

"You did."

"Great." I feel a slight disappointment as she turns to concentrate on Aera. "How are you feeling? How is the little one?"

"We're both fine, thankfully. Him more than me." She smiles.

"Aren't we all?" Leah chuckles. "Now, the reason we brought Hoseok into this is that you requested he is let into your little mental haven briefly, am I right?"

Aera nods.

"Good. Hoseok, if I understand correctly, you are quite familiar with her background."

"I am."

"Then you'll understand how she may react and the reasoning behind some of her decision."

"Yes," I have become hesitant. What could she be talking about?

"Well, Aera can take things from here."

I direct my complete attention to the mentioned person with a puzzled expression.

"I want to move away." She says.

"You want to move? Where to?"

"I don't really know right now. I'm not too sure." She speaks slowly, staring at her lap. "But I was thinking somewhere in Europe."

"Wow." I swallow. "This is-This is big news."

"Yes, for both of you." Leah comments. "Now, we're not expecting you to give an answer immediately. We just wanted you to be aware of what's going on in her brain, didn't we, Aera?"

Aera nods but still isn't looking at me. Does she think I'm mad?

"Your thoughts?" Leah asks me.

"I understand where you're coming from with this. A lot has been going on, even after attempting to cut these people out of your life. But a move this big will take a lot from me. Can I have some time to myself to think?"

"Of course," Aera says.

I continue, "I know I'm not the therapist here, but could I make a suggestion? Why don't you start by thinking of what keeps on bringing these people back into your life? What connects all of you?"

And in that moment, it was as if she had had an epiphany.