Scar awoke with a jolt. She awoke in the boathouse and began crying with relief. None of the events with Julian had actually come into play. It was all a conjured dream. She knew whom she favored more among the two; Julian and Errik, but for some reason she was unable to shake Julian.
Entering the main house, Scar found Errik sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. As if he was delivered unkind or even devastating news. There was something in his demeanor that made Scarlett worried. Coming near him, he jumped up as if he did not expect her and apologized and said she scared him.
"What's wrong? You look miserable..."
"I'm certainly not content..." He said with deep eyes and an expressionless face.
"What is it?"
"Every time I try to forgive you, I keep thinking how you let him...be with you. I can't stand the jealousy I feel inside. I just want to blow up. The hardest thing is, I'm not sure who to blow up on; him or you or myself..."
"Yourself?"
"I wasn't honest with you and I drove you to him. You are right, he always has been honest with you and as much as you may leave me when I tell you this, you deserve the truth..."
Scar sat beside him as he held tightly onto her hands.
"I had been with at least eight different girls in the last year coming here. Not physically, but I would take them to family gatherings and all that. Julian would always convert them to BDSM and I was stuck that 'nice guy in the corner'. I hated it. He made me someone I loathed. The thing is though, I never got jealous with them I just didn't know why he wanted to hurt me-and them..."
"He didn't steal me."
"You went to him because I wasn't giving you something-"
"I went to him because I thought I wanted that. Not because I cared about him more. I thought BD was what I wanted. I thought that being tied up was intriguing and mysterious but I found nothing beats true love."
The words she spoke made his gaze tell her he forgave her. But somehow he always let his jealousy overcome his heart.
"I am trying so hard not to think about it...It's why I took you like I did before. I was wrong and I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize. If I didn't want to do it, I wouldn't have...Stop placing everything on you-"
"I can't help it! You were my entire life and you broke then tore out whatever remained of my heart! Then let him beat on it too." He said standing up and walking toward the window. "No matter how hard I try I keep imagining you with him and it shakes me."
"There's nothing I can say to change your mind...is there?"
"I don't know..." He said wiping a tear from under his eye. "I can't make you excited like he does, I can't do things in front of other people like he can. In fact, I can't do that like he can. But I can promise you a life of love and stability."
"You are talking as if I hadn't made my choice yet. I have told you countless times-it's you Errik. I don't want to be with him and to be honest, I did a lot of it because I wanted to be with you but I was too proud to admit it. I am so sorry for hurting you." She said as she began to cry, finally releasing the tears she had held back before him.
"You make it so hard to hate you..." He said as he pulled her in for a hug. With his back to the window, she pulled his face to hers so their foreheads were resting on each other. "I love you so much."
Closing his eyes, he reached into her and kissed her sweetly. He sat upon the window sill as his hands were on her cheeks, pulling her to him. Her left hand was on his wrist as the other was on his leg.
"I promise you. It's you." She said, pulling away for just a moment. He pulled her back and held her close.
"Please do not tell me that if you have any feelings for him or you want to be with him."
And for the first time since she met Jullian, she felt without a doubt, her heart was Errik's.
"I promise, it's you. It always has been and it always will be."
He pulled her into a kiss that seemed to last all night.
