Behave Yourself

This could be a lot of things

Chapter 43

The same day, 5:15 pm

In the bunker

Katie's POV

Dad: Baby, please talk to me.

He's been trying to get me to talk for almost an hour. But I haven't said a word. I don't know what to say. I've been sitting on his bed, in silence, for the passed hour, because I don't know how to talk about cutting myself. Today's been hard enough, with breaking my ankle and spraining my wrist, and now Dad saw my cuts. It hurt having to tell him, the first time. But this time feels different. It feels worse. He and Uncle Dean thought that I was getting better. I did too, for a little while, but I wasn't. I was getting worse, and didn't know what to do about it. I thought that if I just ignored my feelings, they would go away. But that's not what happened. What happened was my anxiety got worse, and I didn't know how to deal with it. I found one of Dad's razors, that he must've missed while hiding the rest, and I started cutting again. Then Dad and I had our fight, and it got worse. A lot worse.

Dad: Sweetheart, I'm not gonna get mad. No matter what you say, I will not get mad. I just need you to tell me why you did this again.

Katie: I don't know.

Dad: You don't know? You don't know why you cut yourself?

Katie: I'm sorry. Daddy-

Dad: Hey, it's ok. I'm not mad. I'm just worried about you. Baby, I am very worried about you. I need you to talk to me, so that we can figure something out, together.

Katie: Together?

Dad: Together. You're not gonna go through this alone. I don't know if that's something that you're worried about, but I need you to know that it's not something you'll ever have to worry about. I'm not gonna let you deal with this alone.

I hate this. Mainly because I know that he really means that. He won't let me deal with this, whatever this is, alone. He's gonna be here for me. But I don't even know what this is. And if I don't know what this is, then how am I supposed to deal with it?

Katie: I don't know what it is. I don't know why I did it, but I mentally felt better after I did it.

Dad: This could be a lot of things. It could be your anxiety getting worse. A lot worse. Like, to the point of needing medication. And needing to take medicine for your anxiety is not a bad thing. Don't ever feel bad because you have to take medication for your anxiety. If you took medication, it would be to help you. Nothing else. It's not like you're taking drugs or something. The medication would only be helping you. This could also be depression. You could take medication for that, too. I'd normally give you a choice on stuff that effects you, but not stuff like this. Being that this isn't the first time you've hurt yourself, when we figure out what this is, I'm gonna get you on medication. I want you to get better, and to do that, you might have to take medication. And again, that's fine. I'd rather you be pissed at me for making you take medication than lose you because hurting yourself went too far.