MR. CHRIST

♱ 04 • the walking hell

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Dominic
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Looking at my daughter all I see is her mother. The older she gets the more I realize I need to put a ring on Storm's finger. I want more of her faces running around the house.

If- no when, I marry her she would be tied down indefinitely.

Storm thinks I do nothing for her and Star. Star's kindergarten tuition alone is $50,000, the higher the grade the higher the cost. I buy everything Storm lays her eyes on and she gets upset with me for grooming her to be my wife.

She constantly brings up 'is this is how you want Star to be treated'. I'm raising Star ahead so her future husband doesn't have to do what I do, and no one is hurting my kid regardless. Storm and my relationship is just that, mine and hers, no one else's, it doesn't mean Star is going to be like us.

"Dada," Star calls out as I park in front of her school, looking in the front view mirror I respond, "Yes baby girl?"

She's been quiet the whole ride here which makes me nervous about why she called me. She talks my head off every day I drive her to school, "you mad," she asks tilting her head in curiosity and I rub my sweating hands on my jeans.

Squinting my eyes I ask with a laugh, "Why would I be mad?"

I think I do a pretty good job of hiding my anger when she's around. Hitting her mom isn't something I would do in front of her- maybe something like grabbing her arm but punching her is too far. I always regret hurting Storm because my daughter looks exactly like her, that's why I'm so quick to apologize.

I watched my dad beat my mom growing up that's how she acted right, but I also remember how traumatic it was to see and hear my mom crying at the hands of my father. When she tried to leave he ran their car off of a bridge, leaving me with no parents, which lit a ball of fire in me.

"Mama mad," she asks in the form of a statement, but I know she's asking.

Shaking my head I turn my body to look back at her, "why would we be mad," reaching over I unbuckle her seatbelts, "you didn't sleep with me and her," she answers.

Taking in a deep sigh I'm boiling inside because Storm did this. Instead of regretting how I treated her this morning I get an itch to do it again. I show her affection when Star is around and her acting like I'm a horrible boyfriend confuses our child. If she would've just brought Star home and shut the fuck up my kid wouldn't be asking me stuff like this.

She makes me feel like I'm the one losing it but I'm not. She is a great mom, but being a great girlfriend is more important or just as important because it involves our kid.

"Me and mommy are fine, last night Daddy was tired, so I went home, but I promise tonight we're going to sleep together, and you can sleep right in between us," I tell her and she hops out of her car seat, "give me a hug," opening my arms she falls into them.

I praise Storm for being an outstanding mother. She thinks I'm a bad dad because of what happens between me and her... the way I treat her has nothing to do with my baby girl.

"Daddy I want to ask something else," she lifts her head looking at me with the biggest eyes, "go ahead," I smile hiding my nervousness about what else she's thinking.