"So how possessive is she on a scale from one to ten," I ask Seth after giving him a few minutes of space. I sit down on the couch looking around the living room that's also a library, books are very where above my head.
I like Seth.
He isn't treating me like a victim, and that's something I thought I was going to have to fight off when I left Dominic. He talks to me and treats me like a normal human, I know what I've been through is horrible but I don't want to be seen as Dominic's victim. I want to be seen as Storm, because that's who I am.
I don't want to treat him as his girlfriend's victim, I forgot her name, but I am curious about him.
My eyes still wonder around the room, I grew up in a fairly rich home, and the home I came from is superb, but this... oh my god, "is it that recognizable?," my eyes fall to the side of his head.
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He looks just as drained as I am which makes me want to open up to him more. He's someone I can relate to, if he's been through what I've been through I know I won't hear 'if that was me I would've...'
Abuse comes in many forms, and people heal in many ways. I just never expected to be so numb 24hrs after leaving, I expected tears of joy or even tears of regret. I feel nothing. I'm waiting for the moment that pain or enjoyment sneaks up on me.
It feels like a dream that's too good to be true... but at the same time I can't lavish myself in the aroma of it because what if I wake up?
I don't want to depend of someone else for happiness but I will for safety. It makes me feel so much better he's associated and even above my father. Even with all the power you half you can still feel helpless, I know for me I had many nights I could've murdered Dominic, but I always stopped myself. I knew there was going to be a time I would get out without doing something stupid.
I'm out but It's always 'what if' playing like a broken record it my head.
"I mean... for someone who's been through it, it's easy to spot. I don't have faded bruise for nothing," I laugh it off to lighten the mood and he lays his back against the cushion of the couch, turning his head to look over at me, "I also know it's not good to try to make your abuser jealous, it never ended well for me."
The touch of anyone besides my little girl makes me flinch even when Seth is being gentle, when he hugged me a slight bit of trust crossed me because my dad is the only man that's hugged me with love. It's hard opening up to a stranger but I feel I'm covering the hardness well.
