I'm not a Trainer

XIX: Worry of a Trainer

NARRATOR

Trainer hugs his knees while looking at Espeon. Espeon had told him that she knew; she remembered everything. That puts them both on the same side to converse, yet the Trainer doesn't seem surprised. He breathes a loud sigh, staring into the green swaying, calmly tapping his skin.

He wants to admit he is worried. He was worried about Espeon finding out what would happen before they all went home, but his heart couldn't itch. He stares at Espeon, sighing, "You are incredible, through and through again.". It's not the first time she's one step ahead of him. She had always managed to catch him before he was consumed by his despair.

Today, she hoped to do the same.

'You don't look surprised, Trainer.'

'Heh, it's hard to be surprised now.'

'Why's that? Got something in your mind?'

'.........'

Near her psychic presence, Trainer knows there's no point in lying. She could sniff out lies and read him like it was the back of her paw. Worst of it, she might be playing around with the Trainer, and he also knows it.

Both sides know their ability to manipulate their ways of talking.

He rubs his forehead in disbelief. Getting himself in such a situation is stress-inducing. By going above the hill, all he wanted was to spend some time alone, finding a way to try and tell them about his thoughts, but his expectation was subdued when Espeon joined him above. Making up stories and playing with words is the best thing he could do.

'I do, but... I'd rather not share it for now.'

Without the preparation, he couldn't find the strength to tell her his two cents properly. Trainer had always found words to be something much more. He describes things precisely that nobody else had thought about doing. Using simple words that everybody would simply find trivial often treated as something worthy of note to him.

His quirky ways of conveying his message lead to quite a meaningful yet direct opinion. Nobody pays attention to it, but everybody starts to realise it when it's not there.

Thus, he chooses not to tell but to assure her he's not ready to say to her yet. He tightened his arm grim as he tugged into his own knees stronger, nervously waiting for Espeon to reply to him. His heartbeat speeds up, thinking if Espeon is going to push him to tell her, he might break. If Espeon sees him in that state, what would happen to the trust and character he so carefully develops with them?

The thought of simply betraying their trust disgusts him.

Luckily for him, that didn't happen.

'I'm sure you have your reasons. I won't ask you for more.'

He gives Espeon a light smile. It moves him that his Espeon knows how to handle such a situation. Even though his chest feels heavier, hearing Espeon's words pours him with relief. He sighed again, planting his face onto his knees as he pulled them tighter into himself.

Espeon knows she said she doesn't want to pry him for an answer, and curiosity is killing her to ask. But in this situation, she could only silently observe him.

'So, what did you want to talk about?'

'Hmm? Me?'

'You didn't come here just to sit and rest with me, right?'

'Oh? Well, I don't think you're entirely wrong. I do want to sit down and rest with you... But.'

'Go on.'