The competition is scheduled to begin on the 15th of August. I'm looking forward to it since it will be the first time, I've done something like this, but I don't think we have a chance of winning because in order to win, we need unity as a team, which I don't think we have. since of this, I think it's likely that we won't win, even though the practice was nice and I enjoyed it, as well as because it's something new and I really appreciate it. My latest hobby, so that's a plus. I had fun. Exceptions being the breaks. I have finally arrived at the school; upon entering the classroom, the first person I notice is Lily, and we hug one another.
She said, "Missed you so much, girl!"
after a pause. "Me too" I say.
After that, I place my bag on the bench next to me and we both leave the room. On the way, we look back and see Daisy approaching; as soon as she spots me, she runs up to give me a hug. It makes me so glad to see that my closest friends have missed me just as much as I have missed them. For once, I'm glad that I get to be myself. Someone in the teaching staff said, "Everyone who is performing dance please assemble down," and everyone did as they were told. "Got to go" I say.
"the best of luck!" both of them say.
As I make my way down the steps, I look down and see a group of people who appear to be members of the dance team standing together. I decide to join them so that I won't miss any of the instructions they may give me. Alex is now standing in the center of the room, directing everyone else to get in line behind him so that he can turn in the white gloves, wrist bands, and red sash. He walks up to me and gives everything to me, and as he was handing me the gloves, he said, "your hand are too small to fit here; if it's too big, let me know." While he observed, he saw me put on the gloves.
"They are suitable," I remark.
He beamed and explained with a smile, "It's the smallest size so they fit." I can only look at him and grin as he gets lost in his task. Because everybody else is going to the school field, I will go there too. We take our places, and as soon as the dance begins, you can count on me to give it my all. Even though I don't know if I'm good at it or not, I feel like I'm doing alright with it. It doesn't matter to me if other people didn't do well; at least I'll know I gave it my all. The dance is ended, and I did everything I could! And I am very pleased with myself. Every member of the group has taken a seated position on the ground and is attentively listening to the speech that those extraordinary people are presenting. Everyone, including myself, appears to be uninterested in this topic. Now, all I want is for this to be finished with so that I can go meet Lily and start having fun. Everyone has resumed conversing with one another, and of course I am left sitting here feeling bored. Alex and Jake are currently seated in front of me while having a conversation. I'm just going to stand here and watch them talk. When I watch them chatting with other students in school, I can't help but feel a little annoyed. I have a vengeance towards Jake since he doesn't even care to talk to me, despite the fact that he knows me, and instead he is talking to those other girls that he has just met. Since the beginning of the exercise, he has not said a single word to me. Alex was the only person who spoke to me; no one else did. Also, the fact that he has chosen to ignore me today is really frustrating to witness. I had high hopes that he would pay me some attention, but he didn't end up doing that. I can't explain why it hurts so much but it certainly does. I feel like I'm jealous. If I'm jealous of him, it must mean that I have feelings for him. Where did I get that? Am I beginning to have feelings for him? I'm beginning to develop feelings for him. What? Why is it that I find it so easy to like him? It's very strange. Considering him in a different light, one that goes beyond that of a simple friend. GOSH. This is definitely weird. I refuse to accept that it's true. But I can't be too hard on myself for having feelings for him because, after all, he is quite attractive. He treated me with kindness and sweetness, he didn't make me feel unwanted like other people did, and he talked to me when no one else did! Everyone will feel their heart melt, and everyone will get butterflies in their tummy when they hear this. So, even if I liked him, is there a chance that we might be together? Nope. Sadly no. It's pretty clear that he's not interested in someone like me. His expectations are almost certainly much higher than mine are. I'm just a girl in tenth grade who isn't very well known, I don't have many abilities, I'm not very pretty, and I'm a waste of time. I seriously doubt that he would ever even consider thinking about me in such a manner. However, I can't hold it against him because it's not his fault. And in fact, both of them are still chatting with the two other students at the school. Because I have nothing better to do, I'm pulling some grass out of the ground, and whatever I get out, I'm going to toss on Jake's head and Alex's hand. They were having such an in-depth talk with those females that it took them some time before they realized what was going on around them. However, the girls witnessed it and told them about it. Sometime later, they started glancing at me, and it appeared as though they were talking about me. The frustration is making me hate everyone right now. Alex turned his head towards me and added, "they think you're Jake's girlfriend so stop throwing grass on him, they think you're jealous." I looked at him with a confused expression. And at that point, he began to laugh. After that, everyone in the room began to chuckle. I hate each one of them. That was really thoughtless and rude, besides being annoying and distressing. Oh gosh. To what extent? Me Jakes girlfriend? NO WAY! That is something I would never want. No. no. no. nope.
. . . . .
It's the next day, Dance is finished, and I won't be spending any more time with those people. However, I won't feel angry or jealous as I watch everyone else have the fun of their lives since I have Lily and Daisy. That makes me really pleased. The situation is looking extremely positive. I fill them in on the details of everything that took place. However, I kept the fact that I like Alex a secret from them. simply because I am not currently in a position to discuss it with anyone else. "Wow" Lily said, "I'm totally going to ship you with Alex." Lily was referring to Alex as her "ship." Daisy joined in, "Yes, they make a really cute couple," and all I could do was sigh.
"You guys really do need some metal help," I told them.
"No way" Lily said.
"You do" I said.
"Yea you do lily" Daisy said.
"Daisy even you do" I said.
These girls have gone completely insane, and their interest on my romantic life is toxic. I am relieved that I didn't reveal any secrets to them on the way I feel about Alex. If I did, I would be so ashamed that I would die of embarrassment by this point. To tell you the truth, I'm not entirely certain whether or not I like him. He is an incredible guy. But to put this uncertainty away, I have to have a conversation with Naz about this topic and find out what her viewpoint is on the matter. Because I'm not entirely certain that I'm prepared for this just yet. because there is still conflict going on in my life. And if I grow to like him, maybe even the smallest things may hurt me, and I don't want to keep putting myself in situations where I can be harmed. I suppose that this is how life always is. I will soon reach at Naz's site. It is important that I discuss everything with her. Everything there is to know about Alex. "Naz" I yell. Then, when she has turned around and looked at me, Naz comes sprinting over to give me a hug. "Love you," she whispered to me. "Love you more" I said.
She asked, "Then how are things going?"
"It's good," I say, and then I proceed to tell her all there is to know about Alex, including how confused I am about my feelings towards him and how I'm not sure if I should be thinking of him in a different manner since it's possible that he was just trying to be nice, but I misread him, and I didn't want any of that drama. I was in the middle of explaining everything to her when I noticed Alex coming in my direction. When he was walking by me, he waved at me, and I returned with a wave. Naz grins at me. She remarked, "You have a blush on your face." I couldn't help but grin at that comment. I mean, I suppose that... I have proven to her that I have feelings for him. She said, "if you like him, that's totally fine, and I support you liking him; yet, if he hurts you, I'm going to slap him on the face." And I just burst out giggling. Then it was time to go back to class, so I went back and sat down with Lily. I don't know if I should tell her yet because I still need some time to think about what I'm going to say before I tell her... It is going to be challenging for me not to appear obvious in front of her because she is quite good at determining whether or not I am lying. She welcomed me with a smile and told me, "Hey, Alex was looking for you." I just became irritated since I am aware that she is lying and saying this only with the intention of causing my irritation. However, I did blush my face, and I'm not sure if she noticed it or not. It bothered me that she was making fun of me because I preferred to keep that matter quiet and out of the spotlight as much as possible. When it comes to having fun, Lily is the kind of person who won't listen to advice, so I'm afraid I can't really do anything about this situation. It's possible that I'll tell her about Alex in the soon ahead... but for the time being, it's just going to be Naz who is in the know about everything, and I know that she won't tell anyone else. That much is certain. So, that's really cool.
