French Cup: A Neighborhood Story

Chapter 22: -Gyeong-Wan- The Rabbit Bread is Smiling

I said good-bye to Minami and Tomoko as I left work. They'd gotten off also, a shift change. I was often paired with them for training due to their young age and little experience. They appreciated me, and I liked them, too. Little by little, I was starting to see their real personalities. I knew that our work could make our exteriors appear severe, and we were expected by brand standard to be a certain way. However, it sometimes was hard to hide ourselves. As I left the hotel grounds, I was thinking about that in general. Hiding ourselves.

It was my intent today to talk to the owner of the theater again. I'd seen an advertisement for something called "Zombie Walk" on her marquee, as well as a listing of movies associated with zombies. Secretly, I wondered if Kazuya could be interested in such movies. I definitely wanted to see a movie with him again. He'd seemed to have enjoyed it very much, and to be honest, I'd enjoyed it much more than I thought I would have. Initially, I'd been nervous about the interior of the theater. Couches, imagine? But now it strangely felt like home. It had been like sitting in someone's living room, a much more intimate experience. 

As I walked, I thought about him. How he didn't appear to have to hide himself. I went over the colors he liked to wear again, their unashamed brightness. My mother had said darker colors were more mature, more respectful. My father had said that we must dress how we wish to be treated. Seo-Yoon had said pink is for girls and that I must never wear it. His pink beret. He hadn't worn it again since the first time. I wanted to compliment it, but the very thought brought an even pinker blush to my cheeks.

I was in deep thought when I almost bumped into someone again, and jumped back upon seeing who it was.

"Ah-" a very old woman gasped, wearing a gray kimono and dark blue obi. Her gray and white hair was tied back in a tight bun, and she was almost curled over. It was much too cold for her out here, and yet. "Good day," she said so kindly to me. We bowed to each other, and my attention went to the small platter in her hands. She appeared to be standing out here, offering these treats on the tray. However, it must have been freezing. The biting wind was billowing my dark blue coat. 

"Oh, madame." Right back into hotel mode. Overly polite. But, she seemed so kind. My hands went to her shoulder and her elbow, trying to persuade her immediately. "Please, let's go inside. It's far too cold out here."

"Ah, but I must sell my bunnies. You see," she gestured with her tray, and I removed my hands. She picked one up gingerly, showing me a small rabbit made of bread. It was the one of the cutest things I'd ever seen, reminding me of a mouse, but with long ears and a round bunny tail. "I made them today, and it is almost time to close. There is yuzu jelly and white sweet bean cream inside. They are delicious." It was wrapped in cellophane with a light blue ribbon on it.

The light blue ribbon stirred something in me. That now familiar feeling. It reminded me of the hue of Kazuya's clothes. In fact, all of the ribbons reminded me of him. Pastel purples, pinks, greens. He'd worn all of these colors.

She gestured the tray at me again. "I made them for the year of the rabbit, you see. I thought maybe the children would like them, but not many have come to my shop today. So, I thought if I stood outside, I might catch them on their way home from school. I want to see their smiles."

She was breaking my heart. In all of my walks in this neighborhood, I hadn't seen even one child. It didn't seem like the shopkeepers had any children to enjoy treats like this. I took the small rabbit in my hands, feeling that it was frozen in their bareness. How long had it been outside? And if it was frozen, then this kind woman...

My hands went to her shoulder and elbow again. "Please, madame. I will buy them all if you go inside. It is far too cold. Please, madame."

Her old face brightened, some kind of youth there in that look. It made me smile, too. "You don't have to do that," she said, utter disbelief there, but a deep thankfulness, too. 

"I will. I don't care about the price. I'm sure they are delicious, and I will enjoy them better than any child. I promise."

"My, what a kind young man." Her smile was the kindest one.

I nodded to her, and led her inside. As I did, I read the name of her shop. Yuko's Wagashi and Sweets. I hadn't recalled seeing this shop before. It really was a hole in the wall establishment, easy to miss. There weren't any advertisements on the wall outside for it, and there weren't any showcase windows, for it was so small. I must have walked past it dozens of times. A shame filled me, knowing now that there was this nice woman in here trying this hard.

I sat on a bench against the wall inside as she fussed around on the counter next to a modest case of sweets. Inside was a small assortment, maybe three or four types of things. It made me curious.

I got up and went to the glass case, peering inside for a better look. I found myself fascinated.

"What's that?" I asked, curious about a yellow toned sweet. It looked like it was made of a sparkling clear sugar, but soft and bouncy. It was grouped with a bunch of them, all in rows. 

"Ah, that is yuzu jelly," she smiled to me, pausing in boxing up my bunnies. She went over to the case, her hand in a presenting way. "Would you like to try one? It is a whole piece of yuzu covered in jelly. In fact, all of my sweets today feature yuzu. It is a theme. The taste of this yuzu jelly candy is sour and sweet. Children tend to like sour things these days..." She finished off the sentence with a bit of Japanese that I didn't understand. Perhaps a local dialect from somewhere far away. I understood her well enough, though. 

"Sour?" I asked, wanting her to talk now. I never expected a full explanation. It was fascinating, even more than the sweets themselves. 

"Ah, yes. It is like a lemon, isn't it? That kind of tartness. However, the sweetness of the jelly mixes with it finely, creating a unique taste. Here, let us try some. I know you will like it."

I nodded, finding my hands on top of her case like a child, eager to try it like she wanted. 

In the end, I forgot to go to the theater. Too absorbed in all the sweets I'd bought. Boxes of sweets. I'd taken a dozen of the jellies, a half dozen of the sweet white bean bread she'd also had, and of course twenty or so of the toy mouse sized bunnies. It was so much, and between her and Kazuya I knew my diet was now entering terrifying territory. However, as I practically bounced along the sidewalk back to the hotel to put away my precious hoard, I could not find even one care. Let me get fat on sweets if they were like this. It was like freedom again, literally another taste. 

As I thought about dancing all the way back, I wanted to not hide my feelings. Sprint back there like a child. Wear colors like the pastel ribbons on the cellophane of the bunnies. Smile widely and with pride, like Kazuya.