French Cup: A Neighborhood Story

Chapter 72: -Gyeong-Wan- My Dearest Friend

The shower I'd just taken was soothing and calming. I'd gotten back around 6:30PM, going to work out to ease my mind and center myself. Kazuya had wanted me to stay, but I said I was tired. He was understanding, of course. I didn't expect anything else of him. 

When I'd been at French Cup, he'd been talking to me about Korean traditions at New Year's. I explained that my family didn't typically celebrate it at the beginning of January. The real celebration came at Korean New Year's. However, being Christian, my family would have a gathering and a party on January 1st. He'd been extremely interested in this, but I knew it was him wanting to know more about me, which touched my heart. 

He'd been talking about Korean honey cookies, or yakgwa. He wanted to know if I'd ever had them before and if they were something I liked. The truth was, my mom had made these for Korean New Year's since I was a kid. Therefore, I associated them with her. I was on the fence about it, because they were so her. The taste of them brought about her face. They were always so fancy in shape, intricately flower designed, each one perfect just like her and what she expected me to be. 

I swallowed my feelings and told Kazuya that I liked them, because he was so excited about them. He thought they might be easy to make for me. He'd hugged me and said he wanted me to feel welcome at their New Year's celebration. In the moment, holding him like that... I only wanted him to be happy. Giving me these cookies would do it. I'd eat a million of them if they made him smile. 

In my room now, I was sitting on my bed. It was almost 8PM. Would Seo-Yoon show up? Something inside thought maybe I'd been wrong. Maybe I'd hallucinated her, having wanted to not see her so badly. But, that couldn't be true. She had to be here. She hadn't texted me back. What did that indicate? She'd been so desperate to talk to me before. 

I stretched out on my bed. I'd worn formal clothes for her. A crisp white shirt, a red tie. Dress pants. This would be what she'd be expecting. My uniform, what I needed to wear in order to be deemed "respectable". Meeting her like this, however informally. Should I have done it at a restaurant? I'd seen in TV shows, though, that when a girl is broken up with she can make a big scene. I didn't want that. But, thinking about Seo-Yoon... She wouldn't do that. She'd keep her dignity, turning it around on me. Shaming me in front of the entire restaurant. 

How did we become this way? When I'd met her, she'd been this little girl wearing pigtails and a church dress. We didn't know the ways of the world yet, and had hid together under a table away from our families at church. Wanting to play a game, the same age. We'd played Korean rock paper scissors until we grew tired of it. She wanted to take me to her home and play with dolls. She'd had no idea that this was inappropriate for boys. She said her brother played with her all the time, playing little army soldiers or Legos. In this way, I'd found out her family was looser with morals than my family, and as I grew up, I admired that. 

I was thinking about us as little kids when there came a knock on the door. My body curled up, this strange feeling. No longer scared of her, but nervous. She was my best friend. She'd always been my best friend. Defending me from bullies, putting a band-aid on my scraped knee. Singing with me in the church choir. Encouraging me to pursue my dreams in college, and being sympathetic when I chickened out and followed in my father's footsteps. I'd watched her grow up into an independent woman, completely the opposite of what my family expected me to marry. This woman who wanted to have kids, but also her own career. A woman who wouldn't take "no" for an answer and saw her own way. 

Suddenly, I was ready to see her. I wanted to see her. My best friend. No matter what happened between us, I missed her. The knock came again. I wasn't fast enough. I got up quickly, still nervous, but it was different now. My eye peeped through the hole and sure enough, it was her.