French Cup: A Neighborhood Story

Chapter 40: -Kazuya- Something More

The light rain of the morning matched my mood. It pitter pattered on the windows, casting a gloomy feel across the shop. Everyone had heard the news by now, with Charlotte being gone. It was reported to me that she'd chained her doors yesterday morning, probably under cover of darkness, and gone. People had noticed upon walking their dogs, walking to friends' places, trying to inquire about what would be showing. 

It was little mystery on everybody's minds why it had happened. Not many could remember the last time they'd seen a movie there. It was only betrayal. We had busy lives, but it was no excuse... I'd promised her I'd come every day last week, but I only went twice...

Had she seen that? Thought I was a liar? Oh, you say you'll come, but you won't. I'd felt that way about people before. It was the ultimate betrayal, that right there. Promising a shop owner that you'd be a customer, but it's just talk. 

I'd cried more tears last night than I'd care to admit. We'd gone to Chirp's, and Kim-san had been open, seemingly taking back his threat to begin closing early. I was grateful, but it didn't stop my tears. 

This morning, I hadn't been in the mood to bake. This thing I loved had been sapped out of me by depression. Thinking about the various items that Charlotte loved the most. I loved making her little charlottes, her namesake cake. She liked the ones made with strawberries and cream, a thin wafer of cake in between the cream. Otherwise, she wasn't one that liked overly sweet treats. She liked bitter dark chocolate. 

I hadn't had the heart to try to call her. It felt intrusive. She'd made her decision, and who was I to try to convince her out of it? I knew how hard it is to keep your shop afloat. Was she still here, or had she gone back home to Okinawa? Maybe she'd planned for a long time, and was in America by now. The idea of her being that far away... 

So many of us had to leave. There were really only a handful of us left. Trying to hang on. Her movie theater was iconic to the neighborhood. Was... Without it as the center, what was left? It was the only entertainment venue that was truly ours. It showed queer films, about our history as people. We still had Hiran's live house, but he didn't often host queer performers. It was about who would sell the most tickets, and I understood that. Without Charlotte, where would we see portraits of ourselves so accessibly? 

This morning, in a daze, I'd baked cookies. Batches and batches of cookies. It was easy to do, mindless as I went over my thoughts. Memories of her. Experiences in her theater that melted into one another, I'd been there so many times. Being behind the counter at concessions with her, helping her out. Eating hotdog after hotdog on a Saturday night as I lounged on a couch. Going there with Gyeong-Wan... 

I wanted to go there with Gyeong-Wan again. I wanted to watch anything with him. Show him a place that was home to me. It was home to me...

Nikki was face deep in the freezer showcase getting ice cream for a customer. He'd be stuffing it between two soft baked cookies. That was the special experience today, ice cream sandwich cookies. It's about all I could muster, but the customers seemed to like it. Nikki had come in this morning to mountains of cookies and me crying in the kitchen. He'd come up with the ice cream sandwich cookies, something to do with the cookies I'd made in sorrow. The kitchen door swung behind me now as I burst into tears again, feeling useless.

I needed comfort. Wanted someone to hug me and tell me it's going to be okay, even though it's not. Gyeong-Wan had hugged me for a long time last night, but there was still this hollow feeling inside, missing Charlotte. We'd probably never see each other again, and I was too guilty to talk to her. It was as if she passed away. That was the feeling. 

My cellphone was in my hand, absentmindedly pressing in a number. He was a mentor of mine, someone older and wiser. More like a parent. He probably wouldn't have any answers, but it would be comforting to talk to him. He was probably at work, but...