French Cup: A Neighborhood Story

Chapter 92: -Gyeong-Wan- Bond

He'd been breathing in my ear, falling asleep after an hour. Wanting him to stay, but needing him to sleep. The way he'd been speaking to me. It wasn't the usual way I heard him. His stress level, the pain in him. We were matching each other, but I couldn't say it. I have to wear a blue suit to work, but I shouldn't have to. It shouldn't be that way. My boss has made me see the hotel for what it is, and I don't want to be here. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do about this situation, and the more I sit on it the more uncomfortable I am. The more rage I feel, just like the one I hear in your voice. I don't want to be on this side anymore, and I don't know what to do. 

From the first moment I saw him wearing that pink beret, I think the unrest started. Knowing without a doubt that there was another way to live. That I didn't have to listen to superiors, or go along with what they do. This whole journey was so short, but it had seemed like a long life lived. Wanting to be different, but not knowing that until I saw his pink beret. His colors looked like ice cream and sweets, this fairyland of joy and candy. He was what happiness could be, just from his clothes. And getting to know him, he proved all that and more. He proved what life could be, and I couldn't bear that it was getting taken away by this world that I was still a part of. 

This terrible world. It was Wednesday now. Two days left, and those boys would be leaving. No consequences. The more I thought about it, the more I knew how hopeless it was. My general manager and Matsuda-san's discussion, how Matsuda-san could get out of it. How simple it was to deny any evidence. To laugh it off. 

How powerless I was. Hearing Kazuya on the phone in simmering rage, trying to keep it down for me, but there were subtle changes. How mad he was when he found out it was two young boys. How helpless his sounds were, his angry sobs. That rageful despair. 

I sat by the window, the blue winter world outside in the lowlight of the moon. If not for the trees, I'd be able to see French Cup. Abandoned, personless. Not even Kazuya would be there, an agreement unsaid, for the foreseeable future. Any worse thought was unbearable. The idea, the image, of it being empty of tables and chairs. The showcase with nothing inside. No one behind the counter. His smile, never there to greet me again. 

There was no talk of going back. No indication if this was a break or permanent. He didn't talk about it. I didn't press. But there was that despair. That nothingness. All because two boys had came and ruined it all. And they never would have been here, if not for this hotel. 

The stories I'd heard about this neighborhood before the hotel had been here. Artists of all types, wandering the neighborhood. So many more shops open, the neighborhood expanded beyond these few streets and satellite businesses in surrounding blocks. A world full of color. A whole rainbow, so many different things to see. Everyone enjoying each other, so many friends. 

This hotel had destroyed more than French Cup. Just by its very existence, it had already destroyed this neighborhood. How it used to be, oh how it was! If you'd only been here!

There'd been a different hotel here before this place. That, I had learned. A residence, with studio apartments. Low rent, attracting artists. It wasn't fancy. It was rumored to have bugs. Half the air conditioners didn't work and sometimes there were cracks in the walls from the old building settling. An eyesore, by many people's standards. But, to them it was perfect. To them, it was paradise. To them, it was home. 

Together with this neighborhood, it was the perfect cocktail. From what I'd heard, everyone lived in harmony. Because, the people in that hotel mixed well with this community. They flowed into their shops and made friends. They even started their own shops. These free-thinking people. Not all of them were LGBTQ, but they were open. They were what my new friends called "allies". The importance of allies. I was learning that now. How much they needed allies in order to thrive.