Different worlds

18. Ofsgard

POV: Aisha

The day before yesterday, we found our way out of the dungeons thanks to a quick improvisation and by the time the gong was sound again and the two guards we had knocked out were found, we were long gone. We'd run for a good hour to make sure that we wouldn't be tracked down, and settled camp in a small deserted valley. Kalatril had said that it would probably be better for the both of us if we took a day or two to rest and I agreed half heartedly so we haven't moved camp since. We practically hadn't seen each other yesterday because I spent my time hiding in high branches, not wanting to get anyone taking to me but also because I was trying to shoo away the tension in my chest. Did I hate it? Yes. Was it guilt? Probably.

After waking up from my nightmare I had not gone back to sleep once, feeling that other images would come back to the surface if I did.

From the moment he woke up, Kalatril was looking at me strangely. I have suspicions that it might be in part because of the bags under my eyes caused by my lack of sleep but I felt like it was something else too.

-Want something to eat?, he asked, breaking the long and uncomfortable silence.

I shake my head with not much conviction.

-I'm fine, I answer platonically.

He gulps and looks more and more nervous by the second and I forrow my eyebrows.

-Aisha, I'm sorry for... what happened, he said whilst looking at the ground.

-What do you mean? You did nothing wrong.

-But I did! I should have fought back harder and longer the army instead of cowering at all of the blood on my hands! I wasn't even able to get us out of there..., his tone seemed sad and upset and I had the impression he was guilt tripping himself.

I try ignoring my gut feeling but sadness and disappointment was written all over his face.
I can't stand seeing him like this, because, either I like it or not, I felt as if he was now a good friend, we didn't spend much time bonding but behind the appearances, we had quite a bit in common.
I straighten my back up and look at him dead in the eyes.

-It isn't your fault that the sight of blood gives you the creeps, that's on those heartless army generals that sent you on suicidial missions, I see his hands tremble a bit as if briefly reviving bad memories and take a short pause before resuming, When as getting us out of there, there was nothing you could have done, no offense.

-You're wrong!, he exclaims, I could have negotiated or found a way to escape...

-No, you couldn't have and I don't blame you, I'm actually glad that you didn't manage to get us out through negotiating with Leith. The only reason that I could talk with him without enticing him to send an alert and change his mind was that we had the same way of thinking. You deal with emotions, not rock hard logic like me.

-So, you're not mad at me?, he asks hesitantly.

-Of course not, what made you think that?, I ask with genuine curiosity, if anybody had screwed up it was me.

-Oh, nothing, I just thought that you were hinting me something.

-How? By saying 'no' to food? I am just not hungry.

Is that a crime?, I ask myself in the back of my mind.

-Actually I thought that you scratching your neck was it, he gives out a nervous chuckle, feeling embarrassed and stupid, silly me, you must have just had a mosquito bite or something, he finishes off as he wanders his gaze on other stuff.