Kill You

17~ Nightmares

The hall is dark and I have to squint my eyes to try and see. Suddenly I hear whimpering and I whip my head around. This was a mistake though. I feel a deep chuckle and then something sharp and cold stabs into my back. I gasp, stumbling forward. I look down and see the bloodied blade sticking out of my gut. I scream and turn to see the fray. Noah. I gasp again, reaching my hand out to grab him. Noah steps away from my touch grinning wickedly at me. "Noah" I gasp. I collapse to the ground in pain, my body shaking and I'm sobbing. Noah just stands over me. Suddenly dark silhouettes approach from behind Noah. They crowd us both and the knife is ripped from my abdomen.

I gasp awake, sitting up in bed. I turn to see Noah on his side, his bare back to me. I breathe a sigh of relief. If he had seen me then he would have wondered what woke me and I would have to either lie or tell him.

I couldn't fall back asleep so I stared at the window as it turned from a black to a dark blue to a purple to pink and red then bright.

I pretended to be asleep when Noah stirred. He took a few moments before leaning over and kissing me on the neck. The bed shifted as he climbed out and left the room.

I sighed and opened my eyes.

~

The day was slow because I was so exhausted. I tried to keep up with our routine but at lunch I was drooping over my bowl of soup. It was a awfully cold day with the storm calmed down enough for a sprinkle.

"Did you even sleep last night?" Noah asked from across the round dining table.

"Of course" I lie swiftly. I bring the spoon to my mouth but miss entirely, hitting my cheek instead. Oh but no worries there was nothing in the divot anyways.

Noah puts his spoon down and gets up from his chair. He walks over to me and picks me up bridal style. I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my face in his chest.

"I'm fine" I yawn. Noah ignores me and sets me down on the freshly made bed. "Get some sleep" he tells me, brushing his hand up my arm.

"Wait" I grab his forearm and tug him down. "Please stay"

Noah hesitates but lays next to me, pressing his chest against my back. His arm folds across my waist and he buries his head in my neck.

"You haven't been sleeping have you?"

I sigh and snuggle my face into the pillow. I'm asleep before I can even answer him.

~

When I wake up, the sunset is streaking through the window, casting an orange glow in the room. I rub my eyes, rolling onto my back. Noah stares at me, still on his side.

Immediately he asks, "Are you having nightmares?"

I sigh and cover my face with my hand. "Noah it's not important" I huff. Noah's hand grips my wrist, pulling my hand away from my face.

"Yes it is. I need you to feel safe"

I don't mean to yell at him but I do. "Jesus, so you won't tell me about you waking up and sitting there thinking but I have to tell you what my nightmares are about!?"

I'm shocked at myself. I'm not the yelling type. I don't yell because it reminds me of my father.

Noah doesn't break face though. "Cassidy" he slurs. I turn my face to him, my expression apologetic.

"I didn't mean to yell" I whisper.

"Love, tell me about your dreams"

I sigh and close my eyes. I fold my arms across my chest, tightening my breathing.

"Well so far I walk down this hall. And then I hear this sort of cry. When I turn to try and find it there's a chuckle and... I get stabbed"

Noah looks alert and calm as he listens. "Who stabbed you?" He asks. I feel my face grimace. "You" I whisper. "Keep going" Noah demands calmly.

"You laugh at me and when I reach for you... you dodge me. I fall down and you stare at me. Then these shadows of people surround us and... I wake up"

We lay there in silence. "I wasn't going to tell you" I mumble. "Oh I know" Noah smiles weakly at me.

"I don't know who those shadows are..."

Noah barks a short laugh. "You're not worried that I'm stabbing you" He asks darkly.

"...no?"

Noah shakes his head, frustrated. "I know you wouldn't" I mumble. "BUT I COULD!" He shouts, scaring me.

"I've always killed my witnesses! You're the only one left and it fucking worries me that one day I will kill you!" Noah had gotten off the bed and was pacing the room, ranting.

I sit up on my knees, facing Noah. "Stop it! You won't kill me for crying out loud!" I shout. This stops Noah. "How-" I cut him off.

"Because I mean something to you. If you wanted to kill me you would have already fucking done it!"

We stare at each other, fuming. But the fight is dissipating and the only anger left is remnants in the air.

"I'm sorry" Noah mumbles walking over to me. I hug him tightly, my hands holding him close.

Noah's body shook, and I felt awful. I never understood his worry for killing me. He threatened he would and never did. I trust him with my life. But Noah doesn't even trust himself.

Noah feel asleep quickly. So I left to clean up the apartment. I laid next to him when I was done and snuggled into his arms. Even with my nap earlier, I still dozed off.

My dream started out the same. I was walking down the hall. But this time, I didn't have an anxious feeling like before. Instead of anxiety I felt determined. Like I was waiting for something. I heard the same whimpering cry like before in my previous dreams. But I don't turn around to look. I turn to where Noah shows up with the knife. He he moves to plunge it in my gut I knock his hand, making the blade clatter against the floor. He presses his hand against my chest, pressing me against the wall. I hit him in the gut, making him back up and double over. I step forward, pushing him down to the ground. I straddle his torso with my thighs and lean down. Noah thrashes against my weight, trying to gain control again. But the he relaxes and his hands slide up my thigh. "Cassidy" he whispers. Out of the corner of my eye I see the shadows, and I whimper. Noah picks me up off his lap and stands in front of me protectively. I grabbed the knife from the floor and held it over my shoulder, ready to throw it. Noah mumbles, "The Walks"