admire - jiara love story - obx fanfic

7. can't kill a pogue

3 days later:

kiara pov:

the image of jj lying there, lifeless, covered in blood is the only thing i see when i close my eyes. i haven't slept in days. jj still hasn't woken up. he's in a coma, but the doctors don't know if he'll ever wake up. i'm sat in the hospital still, on the seats in the corridor with sarah and john b. we aren't allowed to go inside the room and see him until he wakes up. all the other pogues have been taking it in turns to go home and stay here, except for me. i haven't moved. i refuse to. "kie, you really need to go home" john b says. "yeah, no offence but you kinda smell. you've been in the same clothes for like 3 days" sarah says. i think for a minute, she's right. i don't wanna stink up the hospital or be smelly when jj wakes up. "okay, i'll go and get changed, i'll be back in half an hour" i say, standing up and going outside. i get in my car, drive home, have a shower and get changed. i put on my denim shorts and a top, and i grab my jacket. i look at my bed, and i can picture jj laying there. his blonde hair covering his face, his mouth hanging open as he snores quietly, and i wish nothing more than for it to be real. everything i see reminds me of him. i just want him to be alive. i grab one of his shirts, and some of his shorts too. he has quite a lot of clothes since he's been staying here with me for about a week now. my parents called me yesterday. i told them about jj and they felt bad. they never really liked jj, but they obviously didn't want this to happen. and they also told me they're staying away for another month. they think their trip is really 'benefiting their mental health'. if by that they mean having sex without having to worry about me walking in or hearing them, then it's not the best way to put it. i don't care if they're gone though. i actually prefer it. i throw some other things in my bag, a charger, magazines, headphones... basically things to keep me entertained while sitting in a hospital all day everyday. i'm praying jj wakes up soon, or at least the doctors determine if he's gonna wake up at all. there's nothing worse than not knowing. i'm trying to keep hope, but the longer he's in there, asleep and not waking up, the less hope i have.

i make my way back to the hospital and back to the chair i was on. sarah and john b are still sat there. john b is leant over, with his elbows on his knees and, resting his mouth over his interlocked hands. he has teary eyes and he's breathing heavily. sarah is sat with her head tipped back against the wall. she's visibly been crying, since her eyes are red and puffy.

all of us have been so damaged and broken since jj first went in. we've barely spoke to eachother. we've all just sat here, crying and worrying. "do you think he'll ever wake up?" john b says. a tear rolls down my face. i shrug my shoulders. "i hope" i say. "i do. you can't kill a pogue" sarah says. we all force a small smile. none of us have felt or heard true laughter in days. "if he doesn't i'll never forgive myself" i say. "it's not your fault" sarah says. "i shouldn't have told him not to come back. if he dies and they were my last words to him i.." i stop and look down. "i don't know what i'll do" i whisper as another tear drops. "it's not the same without him" john b says. i know he's not dead yet, well, not confirmed, but we're still living without him at the minute, and we have been for the last few days. "do you think his dad will get charged?" sarah says. the cops came to the hospital to question me, i told them what happened, and that it was his dad, and they arrested him. the hospital said jj was definitely a victim of abuse, that was obvious from his injuries, so they had to get the cops involved. i hope luke does get arrested. i hope he rots away in jail. i nod. "i hope he does" i say. "if he doesn't then i'll keep trying, i won't rest until he's behind bars, and paying for what he's done" i say. "he definitely deserves to rot in jail" john b says. "i just don't understand how someone could do that to their own son" sarah says. "it's because he's a drug addict and an alcoholic" john b says. "that's still no excuse" i say. "i know" john b says. i shake my head.

"i mean.. jj's the most precious person on the planet. he's constantly trying to cheer everyone else up, and make sure everyone else is okay that he's never worried about himself. he puts on a fake smile because he doesn't want people to worry about him, and he's gotten so used to it that even he's starting to believe it. his dad mentally hurt him so badly that he doesn't believe he's capable of being loved, and he believes he's worthless. but it's not true.. we love him, i love him. i love everything about him... his blonde hair and his ocean blue eyes that i could spend all day looking in.. and his stupid jokes and sarcastic comments... his hugs and kisses that make me feel so happy, and warm... how he loves and protects all of us, and his compliments that actually make me feel like i'm, worth something. i love him so much and i wish i had told him more, because now i don't know if i'll ever get another chance" i say as tears drop down my face.

there's silence. i look up at john b and sarah, who are both staring at me with shock. "damn kie.." john b says.

just then we're interrupted by shouts. we all look over to where they're coming from, and see a bunch of doctors running towards jj's room. i look at john b and sarah before running over. i go inside to see jj laying there.. still lifeless, covered in cuts and bruises. he's shaking badly and he's crowded my doctors. "ma'am.." one of the doctors say as they grab me. "what's happening?" i say, not taking my eyes off jj. they put an oxygen mask over his mouth and start pushing on his chest. "ma'am you need to leave" the doctor says, pushing me out of the room. "is he okay!?" i say, but i'm greeted with the door being slammed in my face. my heart is racing. i turn around to look at john b and sarah. they're both stood there, worry covering their faces. "did he just..." i say, not wanting to say the last word. sarah puts her hand on my back and walks me back down the corridor and back to the chairs.

an hour later

we've been sat here for an hour, and we still haven't been told anything. my mind keeps going to the worst possibility, even thought i'm trying to stay positive. pope and cleo are here, sarah rang them after what happened earlier. he looked so broken.. even though he was lifeless.

we're all sat in silence. im sat in the same seat i've been sat in for the past four days, with my arms crossed. my eyes and sore from crying and my face feels weird from all the dry tears. my heads on sarah's shoulder as her arm is round my back. sarah has been the best friend to me the past few days, even thought jj is one of her best friends, she's been comforting me so well. i can't see her face, but i can tell she's crying from the sniffling. pope is sat opposite us, he's also crying. he's got his hand is a fist and he's resting his cheek on it, and resting his elbow on the arm of the chair. cleo is next to him, her hand's on his knee. she's also crying, but not as badly as the rest of us. she's got a few tears on her cheeks and she's staring at the floor. john b is standing next to pope's chair, resting his back against the wall. his eyes are bloodshot and red from crying. he's got his arms crossed.

"kie, what did you see when you went in there? like very detail" pope says. i sigh. "a group of doctors crowded around him. he looked so lifeless guys... like he wasn't in there. he was covered in bruises and cuts. he was shaking, like badly, and the machine he was hooked to was beeping loudly and quickly. they put an oxygen mask over his mouth and started pushing down on his chest, like cpr. the doctor grabbed me and pushed me out of the room, i asked if he was okay but they wouldn't tell me" i say. there's silence again. "guys, do you think that was it?" i say. "do you think that was his death?". more silence.

a doctor comes out of jj's room and towards us. i stand up as he begins talking. "jj maybank's friends, right?" he says. we nod. "is he okay?" sarah's voice cracks. he sighs. "what you guys saw before.. was him dying" he says.

my heart drops all the way to the floor. "but... he's okay" he says. "what?" pope says. "he died for a few minutes, then came back. your friend is very lucky. someone's looking out for him" he says, looking at his clipboard. i feel relief wash over me. he's not dead. "um, do you know when he's gonna wake up?" i say. "we're still not sure if he will wake up.. but it's looking better than it was" he says. "that's good right?" cleo says. he nods. "as soon as we get any information we will let you know" he says, before turning round and walking back up the corridor.

"oh my god dude i thought he was actually dead" john b says, sitting on the chair next to the one cleo was in. "we still don't know.." i say. "can't kill a pogue kie. you have to stay positive" sarah says. that's what i have to keep telling myself. can't kill a pogue.

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(1782 words