admire - jiara love story - obx fanfic

31. bad luck

guys. i just wanna write this short message for anyone that needs to hear it. okay so, i wrote this self harm of kiara's from experience. quite a lot of what i've wrote has been from experience actually. i'm just in a bad place rn, and it's getting worse. but anyways, not about me. this is about you guys. i want you to know i love you all sm and if you need to talk to anyone im here. if you want to talk to me add my tiktok mollylovesobx, and message me. i will talk to you. you can talk to me. you can let it all out. bc i lost my people that i would let it out to and my will to live went with them so yeah that sucks but i know how much people need to let it out, but have nobody. so i am here. please dont struggle in silence. i may not know you personally but i love you and i care about you. if you're having the same thoughts as kiara or me for that matter, tell someone. if you feel like you can't then tell me. i know how hard it is. obviously everyone goes through different things but i know how self harming feels. i am here for you. please don't suffer in silence like me.

kiara pov:

it's been a week since i first self harmed. it's bad and i need to stop but i can't, and the voices in my head won't let me. though, they've gone quite quiet lately. i think i'm learning how to shut them out more.

we're going to charleston in 2 weeks. all of us. the whole group. for john b's proposal, which all of us know about except for sarah. pope's gonna record on his nerdy camera and me and cleo are gonna record on our phones. i'm excited for sarah and john b, and i'm excited for the trip. it'll do us all good to get out of obx for a little, even if it's only for a week.

my dad is cool with me going, so i don't have to worry about that.

"okay, we're going out" sarah says, pulling the covers off of me and jj. he groans, attempting to pull them back up but sarah yanks them away. "come on, up" she says. "whyyy" i say. "because it's 10:30, and we're going surfing then for food. all of us, pope and cleo are on their way" sarah says. "why can't we go later?" jj says. "because i said we're going now" sarah says. "i hate you" jj says. "oh, jay. you love me really" she says, walking away. "you're lucky you're my sister, otherwise i would've killed you by now!" he shouts. "no i'm not lucky!" sarah shouts back.

i get up, take a shower and get ready. by the time i'm done, cleo and pope are there. we all go to the twinkie, but me and sarah go to my car. i get in and sarah gets in the driver's seat. "meet you there!" i call out as i close the door. the twinkie leaves, then me and sarah follow them.

"so, you excited for this trip to charleston?" sarah says. "yeah, are you?" i say. she nods. "yeah". "where are we staying?" i say. "some hotel" she says. "is it nice? have you been before?" i say. "i've been once with my family. it's fancy" she says. "i think this trip is gonna be good for all of us" i say. she nods.

we pull up to the beach car park and get out. we all surf, go get food, and have a great time. until the arguing starts on the way home.

me and sarah are in my car, and the others are behind in the twinkie.

"oh i wish you'd just fuck off sarah!" i say. "i'm just worried about you!" sarah says. "i'm not a baby! i can look after myself!" i say. "well clearly not when you've been doing that to yourself!" sarah says.

she saw the cuts on my leg when my shorts got caught on the seat and moved up. she saw it.

"why would you do that to yourself!?" sarah says. "they told me to" i say. "who?" she says. "the voices in my head" i say. "what the fuck?" she says. i don't say anything. "kiara you need to get help! like a therapist! instead of cutting yourself! do you know how dangerous it is?" she says. "yes" i say. "why would you do that to yourself kie!?" she says. "because i deserve it!" i say. "no you don't! kiara you need to learn to accept the fact that barry is gone but it is not your fault!" she says. "yes it is! if i had just kept quiet rafe wouldn't have gotten him killed! it was my fault! don't you get that?" i say. "it wasn't your fault! you need to let it go!" she says. "it's not that easy!" i say. "i get you went through alot but you didn't deserve it! you've already been tortured enough for no reason. you don't need to do it to yourself more!" she says. "shut up!" i say. "no! i won't kiara. you need to listen! you need to hear this!" she says. "sarah just fuck off!" i say, looking at her for a second before looking back at the road. she sighs and looks forward, avoiding my eyes. i look at her again, and she looks at me. although her attention quickly shifts to the window at my side. "just drop it!-" "kiara watch out!"

*CRASH*
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jj pov:

"it was nice to have a surf, you know? like the old times? just us six being normal teens?" john b says. "yeah i agree" i say. "it finally feels like things are starting to go back to normal" cleo says from the back. "well as normal as they can after everything-"

*SCREECH*

we all fly forward as john b slams the breaks on. "what the fuck dude!?" i say, with my head against the front of the twinkie. "oh my fucking god" john b says, unbuckling his seatbelt. pope and cleo groan in the back. "the girls! guys! sarah and kie!" john b says, opening his door. "what?" pope says. i look up. "shit!" i shout, jumping out of the van. "sarah! kiara!" john b shouts as we both run towards the wreck of the car.

a car is crashed right in the middle of the right side of kie's car. the people in the other car get out, and they look fine. i don't care about them though, i care about kie and sarah. "kie! sarah!" i shout as we go to the side of the car that doesn't have another car in it.

"kie! kiara come on!" we hear cries. "sarah!" john b says as we run to the passenger side of the car and look through the window. we see sarah shaking kiara, who's covered in blood and passed out. "guys she's not moving!" sarah cries. "pope, cleo call 911!" john b shouts. i pull the door open. "sarah" i say. "kiara! please!" sarah says. john b grabs sarah and helps me drag her out of the car. "kie!" sarah says. "we need to get you out so we can get her out" john b says. pope and cleo come and grab sarah. her ankle is bad and looks like it could be sprained or broken. she's covered in small pieces of glass and blood.

i climb over the car carefully, trying to shake kie awake. "kie" i say. "kie come on, come on" i say. nothing. i wrap my arms around her torso and gently pull her towards me. i pull her legs away from the pedals. i keep pulling her towards me, and i move back, until she's eventually out of the car. john b helps me and we lay her on the ground.

"did you call the ambulance pope?" john b says. "yeah, yeah" he says. "kie" i say, sat next to her. john b is tapping her shoulder. "come on, kie please!" he says. "is she breathing?" pope says. "how do i know!?" i say. pope sighs. "watch out" he says to john b. he moves back and goes to sarah where pope was. pope puts his fingers on kie's neck then wrist. "there's a pulse, but it's very weak" he says. "what does that mean?" i say. "she's dying" he says. my heart drops and races at that sentence. "well..what- what do we do!?" i say. "listen, jj. i pump on her chest, you breathe through her mouth, okay?" he says. i nod. he pumps on her chest a few times then signals for me to breathe into her mouth. i do, then he does it again, then i do it again, until the sirens come. "is it working?" i say to pope. he checks her pulse again. he nods. "kie come on" i say, putting my hand on her cheek. apart from a few cuts and scrapes and her not breathing very well she doesn't look too badly injured. "kie" i say again. i watch her eyes twitch slightly before opening. i smile and so does pope. "kie, are you okay? does anything hurt?" i say, but before she's able to give me an answer the paramedics run over.

"is anyone else injured?" one of the paradmedics say as they put kie on a stretcher. "no, we spoke to the others and they said they're all fine. sarah?" pope says. sarah shakes her head. "what about your foot?" cleo says. "i just care about kie right now" she says. "ma'am, if you're in need of medical attention-" "i'm fine! just please help my friend please" sarah cries. she sighs before taking kie in the ambulance on the stretcher.

i look at the ambulance, i look at kie, i look at sarah, i look at the car wreck, i look at john b, pope and cleo. it's all the same shit again. maybe this is god telling us that we can't go a month without some shit happening. i've come close too losing sarah and kie, too many times. it's always those two. it's like they're targeted, by god or some shit. i think they just have extremely bad luck.
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guys. dramatic. i know. but it's not admire if there's not some dramatic near death experience going on is it?
i'm posting the next chapter right after this, so there's no cliffhangers. but i've planned this to happen since the start of this book.
i know a lot has gone on in this book and you might think it's a little too much but i just don't want y'all to get bored. anyways, this is the last dramatic near death (or death) experience that is going to be in this story so this is the last one. after this they're all getting their (very deserved and long waited for) happy endings.