Clef x Bright

1 month later

Dear diary,

This is so fucking stupid. Thank Dr Glass for all the shit you are about to have written in you because Jesus fucking Christ.

So, basically, in the last month, everything kinda went down hill. Turns out the only reason that A admitted everything to Clef was because the council was gonna tell everyone anyway, of course some already knew, like Charles and therefore Julian. Charles used to be such a fucking dork who asked so many fucking questions, so it's no wonder his dad told him shit he shouldn't know. Wait-

Never mind. I got angry again. Then sad again.

Anyway, Clef and A ended up arguing in the middle of the Café, thank fuck no one else was there. Anyway, it ended in A leaving in a fit of rage after being compared to Lily, and Clef yelling even more at them.

Me and Clef fought that night. He yelled at me, and then he got even more mad and hit me. I don't think he meant to. He looked like he regretted it. He looked like he was going to cry. He looked SCARED... he was against a wall with me in front of him... Maybe he felt threatened.

We broke up that night. It was for the best, that's what I tell myself.

It's hard to get by now. I started vomiting more frequently and no matter how many times we clone a new one, my body keeps getting more frail. I don't do anything but work now. I can't really. I spend time with TJ occasionally, but I don't touch him, he will know what I do to myself if I do, and I don't want him to worry.

Every time me and Clef see each other, whether it's in the dorms or during work hours, he just snarls at me all animal like and walks away.

I've seen less of everyone. Rights is giving me space, Kondraki couldn't give a shit, clef actively avoids me, Gears and Iceberg don't know how to react and A has been hiding away as well per council orders.

I can hardly get out of bed anymore. I'm sore everywhere. The cuts don't help. Sometimes they open up again and I have to get a new lab coat, which is a pain in the ass.

I miss Clef. I love him. He hit me though. He surely didn't mean it. He can't have. Or maybe that's the only relationship experience he's had, being violent in those situations, I mean. Doesn't make it right, but I guess it explains some shit.

It takes my entire focus not to just walk into his room and crawl into bed with him every night. I give myself a migraine because of that shit.

I just love him so much.

Anyway, Mom invited me to a 'virtual dinner' tomorrow, which will be 'fun'. Mikell is gonna be there, so's my aunt Cassie, but no one else will be. I don't know why, but shit, at this point I'm just glad I get to get a day off work for this.

I'm gonna sleep now.

I'm tired.