To Be Worthy of You

Chapter 18: Going Away

There are moments when we wish to just go away...disappear. Not that we are not brave enough to face the pain and the tragedy of it all but we just wish to escape for a moment to somewhere no one knows what we went through or what we are going through. It is a matter of trying to regain consciousness, awareness of what is next because oftentimes we grieved too long that we become recluse and that stops everything in our lives. Distance could offer healing too... For most of us, even the opportunity to forget.

XoXo**

IOMHE

It has been a week, a slow and torturous week after I learned everything. Ilang beses ko na bang sinubukan tawagan si Blake. Ilang beses ko na rin bang tinitigan sa phone screen ko ang number niya pero di ko magawang idial? Para saan?

"Oh god! I miss him!"

Masakit isipin na kailangan niyang ipamedia blackout ang aksidente to avoid further damage to their company. Sandrea assured her that Blake hired detectives to track information about people involved but it was a difficult task kasi nabura ang lahat ng detalye ng kaso, they relied on people who witnessed the scene. Siguro ganun talaga pag sobrang yaman ng mga taong involved. I remembered how I didn't want to look at Sandy and Adrian. Nasasaktan ako, nahihirapang tanggapin ang mga explanations nila. They left quietly. Yumakap si Sandy sa akin pero hindi ko magawang kumilos. She was crying when she said she understands and that she was so sorry. I just stared on my hands tightly clamped together. Adrian just whispered; "I hope to see you and to talk to you soon babydoll." His voice was painfully gentle. I never dared look at them. I cried and cried when they left until I fell asleep.I found myself in front of dad's and erin's tombs the next day no longer weeping.Ewan ko, wala na siguro ako maiiyak pa. Ubos na o siguro napagod na rin. Nakiusap ako sa knaila na bigyan ako nga kahit anong hint or sign kung ano ang dapat gawin.

"bes, maiintindihan ko if you would press charges.."

Ako? Magdedemanda? I have learned that Eleonor Rodriguez (formerly Mrs. Del Rosario) was unstable when she rammed her car to us that day.

"bes, nakatakas si tita sa rehab ng araw nay un without anybody knowing, she went home and stole her brother's car keys then went to stalk tito Rafael..."

Paano mo pananagutin sa batas ang taong hindi alam ang consequences ng kanyang ginawa? Hindi pa ba sapat na nadun siya at tulala sa hospital? Napuruhan din siya sa aksidenteng ginawa, she was unconscious for days at the hospital then she woke up to the news that she killed her ex husband and his wife. She became hysterical when she learned that her youngest son was in coma because of her too. The next day, she stopped responding, no reactions to anything. She just gives me a blank stare, silently follows whatever they tell her to do. Doctors said it is a case of trauma and she was subjected to therapy sessions to no avail.

I hate to admit it pero naawa ako sa kanya pero mas naawa ako kay Blake. How on earth was he able to manage his sanity? Imagining him fixing a wake for his parents, tending to his comatose brother who woke up but could not remember anything, checking her unresponsive mother at a rehab facility and at the same time managing a huge chain of companies listed under their name all at the same time. Was he given enough time to grieve?

Pero kasya na ba yung awa na yun para makalimutan ko ang mga nangyari?

No!

Mama and lolo Joaquin accepted the facts, siguro ganun kalaki ang espasyo ng pangunawa sa mga puso nila. Ako hindi, kaya gusto ko sana umalis muna, baka sakali I could start over on a new place. I need to go, I need to leave.

RRRRRRIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNGGGGGGGG

Iomhe reached for her phone and stared at it, the screen registers D' BOSS. She stumbled to the floor from her bed. She knew it must be an urgent matter because normally if Mccall needs something he asks his secretary Mayan to get to her.