To Be Worthy of You

Chapter 20: Time Heals

Allow yourself to heal. No matter how difficult or ridiculous the idea is, you would eventually get through everything. You just needed time... Time to immerse yourself into the pain, time to get out of it and time to continue your life. Even the worst wound eventually heals up in time..unless you're a diabetic!haha!

XoXo**

"I am really sorry about that iho... We never expected that she has those thoughts inside her head." Lolo Joaquin met him by the stairs together with Floriana. They clearly heard everything in their conversation. Blake looked down.

"She loves you son, I could clearly see that. She has never been so happy and so agitated at the same time. I... I would like to ask you to be patient with her. She has been through a lot."Floriana said gently.

Blake looked at them with blank expression written on his face.

"I am really sorry too Lolo Joaquin, tita Flor. This is also difficult on my end. I have made my intentions clear about your daughter tita and thank you so much for trusting me, but she said it already. She wouldn't be able to handle the fact that I am my mother's son." Blake finds it difficult to speak, remembering her confused and pained expression.

"Blake, give her time. She needs to snap out of this. Give her time because mostly that's what we needed. All of us, we needed time to heal." Lolo Joaquin's voice is trailing off with unshed tears.

Blake inhaled sharply. Siguro nga, maaring kailangan nila ng panahon. Pero yong isipin na maaring magmahal ng iba si Iomhe, it would surely kill him.

"Blake, please don't give up on my daughter." Flor reached for Blake's hand.

"I don't know tita, I am sorry. Lolo is right, we all needed time. I hope that it would help us forget the nightmare we did not deserve. Please take care of yourself. It might be a long time before I see you both again."

Flor hugged Blake tightly, she finds it hard not to cry because this young man does not deserve all the blame and he is taking it all in. He does not deserve it because she saw how he stood firm amidst a difficult childhood. She saw how he developed into a responsible adult, protecting and taking care of his family. She remembers how Anita cries for him.

"I am praying and hoping that he forgets the nightmares Flor. He constantly cries and shouts in his sleep. I would hug him tight until he falls back to sleep again. It hurts me so much as his mother."

They watched him walk towards his car with slumped shoulders, defeated. Lolo Joaquin couldn't help but to shed a tear. If only things were different, they should have been celebrating things right now.

"Papang..." Flor hugged her dad, she knows how he is torn because they were both a witness to how life turned out to be so nasty to people they cared for.

"Let's go back inside iha, we need to get our act together. Your daughter needs us most today."

Muling sinulyapan ni Flor ang papalayong sasakyan ni Blake. As a mother, she cries for the man. He needs someone too, especially these days. She silently prayed he'll be all right and that they will see him soon again.

Blake

That, right there was so painful. It was too much.

I have never felt this way before towards anybody. I have never rushed like a mad man to a woman's place and just profess my fears of losing her. I even begged her to not regret things we had but she still did. How dare her just throw me out like this? I did not deserve the blame. I deserve my own space and time to grieve too. I was never given a chance because in just a matter of hours I had to tend to my parents' wake, my brother in coma and my biological mother in ICU. Oh! To add to that, a business that needs immediate attention to avoid further damage to its owners' reputation.

God! I was like a robot then. I was just mechanically nodding, thanking people who came and carefully answering questions on media and press interviews. I never thought I could survive but I did. Or maybe I was used to it, taking care of people that I never took care of myself, of my needs. I created and projected a strong persona that people think I am no longer capable of being hurt. But right now, this is the most hurtful.

I remember how I met her, how I kissed her the first time, how she responded. I remember how she made me happy, how she made me content and wanting at the same time. I remember how she made me believe that miracles do happen.

Where was that girl?

Lolo Joaquin maybe right, we all needed time. We all needed time away from each other. Maybe that would open an avenue for us to heal. To forget the bitter tragedy that wounded us all in the process, maybe by then I could find peace at forgiving and getting forgiveness. But what if, she forgets not just the tragedy but me? What if she chooses to do that? Hell! Of course she can, she is a very strong woman. She can do whatever she sets her mind to do.

"What if you wake up one day and realized I am not the one and decided to go on with your life? What if you are the one for me and I wasn't? What if I'd let you go now and regret it later?Do you think I could freaking live with that?"

She was astounded.

"What if it's the other way around? What if we were never meant to be with each other?"

I would not be able to take it... I swear, that would kill me.