Flower

8

Violet

I opened my eyes and the room was dark. I turned my head to the window and saw the night sky.

I slowly got out of Elizabeth's grip and sat up.

I looked back at Elizabeth as she changed positions and I slowly got out the bed.

I looked around the room for my things and found them in the corner.

The only clothing I had ontop was my hoodie because Elizabeth offered to wash them.

I left the room with my stuff and went into the bathroom to take her top off so I only had to return the bottoms she gave me.

I looked at my reflection in the mirror for the first time and my eyes filled with tears when I saw the condition of my face.

I already knew I had a bloody lip but didn't expect so many bruises around my face.

I touched the bruises and marks on my torso and I didn't want to even look at the ones on my legs again.

I quickly put my hoodie on and started to go through my bag for a mask or something.

I found a mark down below and put it on. I also put my hoodie on so every part of my face except my eyes were covered.

I took out my notebook and wrote Elizabeth a note before leaving the bathroom.

I left it on the bed and went downstairs.

I put my shoes on and quickly left her house.

As I walked out my breath started to quicken as the noises I heard before Elizabeth came repeated.

I stopped midstep and dug through my bag once again for my earbuds so I could distract myself from this.

I quickly plugged them in and started to play my playlist.

I turned up the volume and continued to walk.

I decided to go to the docks for some peace and because I was scared of going home.

When I got there I sat down on the ground and let my feet dangle down to the ocean.

I looked at the moonlight that was shining down to the water.

I sighed as I closed my eyes and let myself find comfort in the music playing in my ears.

Despite the things that happened today.

It's been somewhat peaceful. Like when I slept with Elizabeth or right now.

Her hug was warm and it wasn't anything like the other hugs I've had.

Not that I've been hugged much but...

It was nice.

My foster mom used to hug me. Though her hugs weren't as warm. It's not because she didn't love me or anything. It's just that she had already lost everything and she didn't have much love left to give.

Anyone who isn't blind could tell that.

My foster dad used to give me ones to but his were always...

I looked down at the dark waters and wondered for a moment.

What would happen if I jumped right now.

Would everything really end?

Would I really be free from this hell or would I go to a different type of hell like those Christians say.

I shivered at the cold and thought about the cold waters.

About it filling my lungs until there wasn't oxygen left in them.

Until I turned purple and closed my eyes forever.

I put my hands on my face to cancel out those thoughts.

I need to live. I have to live.

At least I need to until I'm 20.

No matter how hard life is I need to live.

I need to work my ass off to stay alive if I have to.

I picked my backpack up and stood up.

Staying next to the deep ocean isn't the best for my mentality right now.

I ran to the bus stop. But as I waited I watched as the cars sped through.

I started hitting my head with my fist when I suddenly thought of one crashing into me and crushing me under it.

My breath quickened and tears started to fill my eyes again.

"Stop, stop, stop. " I mumbled and tried to focus on the music.

I flinched when my phone suddenly started to ring and I looked at it to see that Elizabeth was calling me.

I took a deeo breath before answering.

"Hello." I said in a quiet voice.

"Violet? Where are you. You should have woken me up. " she said in a tired voice.

I fiddled with the wire of my earbuds. "I'm somewhere safe don't worry. And you looked tired so I didn't want to wake you. I'll return your tights in afew days just don't worry about me please. " I said and quickly ended the call before she could say anything else.