Flower

9

When I got home I immediately locked the doors and closed the blind making the whole place dark even though the sun was going up.

I laid down on my bed and got under the covers.

Then slowly but surely sleep took over me...

"Mom... " I mumbled as I looked at the lifeless body on the floor.

Tears swelled up in my eyes and they fell the moment I touched her.

She's truly gone now...

I opened my eyes and took a shakey breath.

I wiped my eyes and flinched when my phone rang.

I got out the covers and looked at the bright screen on my bedside table.

I looked to see who it was and it was work. I answered the phone and informed my boss that I was sick and couldn't be able to work for awhile.

She was displeased but didn't say much.

The call ended like that.

I'm supposed to be at school right now yet here I am. Laying in bed all broken in the dark.

I sighed and got out of bed to go to the restroom. As I peed I caught glimpse of the drawer that had scissors in it.

When I finished doing my business I opened the drawer and there it was in all it's glory.

I picked it up and opened it wide.

I touched the sharp side with my finger.

When I realized what I was doing I immediately put the scissor down.

"Shit." I swore under my breath.

I put it back in the drawer and left the bathroom.

I went back to the main area and got on my bed.

I stared at the closed curtains and decided to finally open them. I squinted when the light suddenly shined into the house.

I slowly opened them and sighed when I looked at the blue sky.

I opened the window and let the cold air creep in my already cold apartment.

I took a breath of fresh air and suddenly my eyes started to swell with tears.

I laid my head on my pillow as I let the tears go.

I hope, tomorrow will be a better day.

●

The next day I woke up to my alarm for school.

I shut it down and shivered when the wind blew.

I closed the window and was shocked at my ability to sleep the whole day.

I got out of bed and started getting ready for school.

When I got to school I got stares and laughs but I was used to it at this point just like how I'm used to all the shit that's smuggled into my locker.

I didn't have much in it except for some books so it didn't do much other then hurt or scare me abit.

I once found a dead bird in it which wasn't the best experience. I don't even know how they figure out my lock everytime.

I took whatever they put inside out and threw it in the trash can before going to class.

The rest of the day was surprisingly calm. Which I liked since I still wasn't better from what happened over the weekend.

My mind kept getting foggy during the day and I kept hearing voices in my ears which hurt so much.

I wanted to cry and yell but I couldn't.

The only time I could panic over the voices was during lunch where I locked myself into a stall.

I hoped for the day to be over so I could just lay in my bed and sleep all the pain away.

I just want it all to be darkness so I can silence out all these thoughts and voices in my head.

I just... I just want today to end.