Flower

18

I wrapped the blanket around my body as mommy plugged the heater in. She sat next to me and winced as she did.

"It'll get warmer now. " she said and pulled some of the blanket onto herself.

She wrapped my arms around me pulling me close to her chest. "Will he come home tonight? " I asked as I stared at the heater.

"I don't know..."

"I hope he doesn't." I said as I closed my eyes.

Mommy stayed silent and continued to run her fingers through my hair and not long after I feel asleep.

I opened my eyes as I heard a crash. I looked at the broken bottle in front of me and turned my head.

I saw mommy try and lift daddy from the floor but she was pushed away.

I quickly closed my eyes pretending to be asleep as he started to yell at her.

I squeezed the blanket as I heard a slap.

Then another followed.

Mommy begged him to stop but he didn't.

She begged and begged and begged. But he never stopped. He never does.

I opened my eyes and took a deep breath. I touched my forehead that was now sweaty and pushed the sweat coded hair away.

I pulled my legs up to my chest and looked out the window. The moon was shining through.

The house was warm nothing like the night in my dream.

It was quiet unlike the house in my dream.

But for some reason I could still hear it all.

I could hear everything I saw.

Everything I witnessed.

Every scream, every cry.

I could hear her begging him to stop. Her voice repeating in my head.

And I could see myself.

My 7 year old self hiding in her room or under a blanket as she suffered.

Maybe I am being punished for not stopping him. For not helping her and letting him beat her up.

But what use would I have been.

Even though he was drunk he was strong and I who was a child wouldn't be able to do anything.

Even now I can't.

I won't ever be able to stop him.

All I'll be able to do is yell at him like last time.

Cry in pain.

He hasn't been around for awhile. Who knows maybe me yelling at him changed something in him.

But I highly doubt that.

He won't ever change.

And one day, I can guarantee it.

He'll come and get me.

And make me suffer like never before.

●

"Where are you going? " I asked Lizzie as she did her makeup.

"Work, my new series is getting released so I have to do a bunch of advertising. " she said with a smile.

"Oh, what will I do? " I asked.

"You can stay here if you want to. But if you want to go somewhere call me. So I don't panic when I come home and find the house empty. " she said as she stood up.

"I see, I'll do that. "

She smiled and took her bag and started to make her way down stairs with me following her.

As she put her shoes on I debated on weather if it was okay to not go to school today.

I didn't feel like it after my dream nor did I have the energy to...

It's fine I'll go. So I picked my bag up and put my own shoes on.

She waved me goodbye as I got off the car and I looked straight ahead.

Dreading the fact that I even opened my eyes.

I decided to try something new today and put my pods on before I stepped in.

I kept making the volume higher until I couldn't hear anything but the song playing.

In class I was forced to take them off because I couldn't hear the teacher otherwise.

I almost dug a hole into my notebook as I heard voices the whole time.

The class was silent making it worse for me.

I closed my eyes and tried to take deep breathes to calm myself down.

It worked abit so I opened them back up.

The whole day was a repeat of this.

And it sucked.

When I got home it was empty. Lizzie texted me that she wouldn't be able to come get me and told me to use the key she gave me to get in.

I did and the house was silent.

I took my shoes off and decided to try and take a bath to calm myself down after the amount of stress and anxiety I suffered.

I filled the bath up with warm water and got in when it was full.

I closed my eyes as I leaned onto the wall.

I opened them back up and looked down at my body.

It was free of any bruises and my neck was somewhat completely healed now.

My skin was white like milk. It was abit red because of the hot water but it was smooth looking.

Unlike before my legs were plumper.

They had more skin.

I sighed and decided to get deeper in.

I let my whole body be submerged into the tub until my head was the only thing above.

I closed my eyes and dunked myself in.

I stayed like that until it hurt not to breathe. I quickly lifted myself back up and sat while taking quick breathes.

Tears started to fill my eyes and soon I was sobbing. I don't know why but I just cried in the tub.

After I somehow calmed down I got out.

I dried my hair and put some leggings and hoodie on.

I looked out the window and it was still bright out. I walked to the window and opened it letting the wind blow.

I looked at the bed which had my phone and earbuds on it. I got up to get them and sat in front of the window.

I put the earbuds on and listened to music as I leaned onto frame of the window.