Snowbarry

forgive, forget, start over(11)

This morning, Iris woke up to find Barry beside her. But he seemed to be acting differently than normal, so Iris tentatively asked him what was wrong. Barry looked away, avoiding her gaze, and seemed to be trying to find the right words to say. After a few moments of silence, he finally spoke. He told her that he had been feeling really anxious and overwhelmed lately. He was overthinking about the future and all of the things that needed to be done. He felt like he was being pulled in every direction, and he was struggling to keep up. He was scared of letting everyone down, and he was tired of not being able to find the time for self-care. Iris listened intently, her heart aching for her boyfriend. She gently put her hand on his shoulder and told him that it was okay to take a step back and focus on himself. She reminded him that he was only human and that it was ok to make mistakes. She told him that he was strong and capable and that he had the power to make things better. Barry looked up at Iris with a newfound sense of understanding. He thanked her for her kind words and said that he felt a lot better. He said that he was going to take some time for himself and focus on getting back to a place of balance. With a smile, Iris said that she was proud of him and that she was always there for him. 

 The two of them hugged, and Iris felt a sense of relief that Barry was now feeling better. She knew that he had the strength and courage to get through this difficult time, and she was happy that she had been able to provide him with some comfort.

"Be honest, did something happen between you and Caitlin yesterday? Did you kiss? cuz you're hiding something more from me, I can feel it"

"Well, I'll be honest. When I came to starling city I was excited to meet Caitlin again, she is understanding, and Oliver and Felicity left. so I stayed with her in case Lavosa and the doctor would come. We watched a movie together. We both felt a connection and, before I knew it, we were standing in front of each other and I was looking into her eyes. The next thing I knew, we were kissing. It was passionate, and it felt like it went on for hours, even though it was probably only a few seconds. We pulled apart and just looked at each other for a few moments, not knowing what to do or say. Eventually, we ended up...fucking. I'm sorry Iris. I'm pretty much lost and I hope you know that I don't want to hurt you"

Iris had always hoped for the best. She prayed every night for her relationship with Barry to be strong, for her trust in him to never waver, and for him to never be unfaithful. She knew that relationships weren't always easy and that sometimes people made mistakes, but she wanted to believe that her relationship with Barry was the exception. She wanted to believe that he was the one person she could trust and be faithful to her, no matter what. Iris tried to be the best girlfriend she could be. She cooked him his favorite meals, made sure he was comfortable in her home and was always there for him when he needed her. She put her heart and soul into the relationship and wanted nothing more than for it to be successful. But deep down, Iris knew she couldn't control what Barry did. She knew that, no matter how much she wanted it, she couldn't guarantee that he would stay faithful to her. She was constantly worried and anxious, Iris struggled to keep her hopes and dreams alive. She wanted to believe that her relationship with Barry was different, that it was something special, and that it could withstand anything. But in the back of her mind, she was always afraid that he would break her heart and cheat on her. 

but now she knew she couldn't fight more with their relationship. He didn't fight for them. He wants Caitlin now. He doesn't feel the same for Iris anymore. She had to give Barry some space. 

As Iris cried she tried to reply to what Barry said.

"I tried to make you not lose feelings for me. I know that you are lost and I knew since you got an eye for Caitlin. I'm gonna give you space. you can still live here in this apartment with me if you want but as a friend. that's probably what's best for both of us at the moment."