I am yours FOREVER (A Zac and Tom story)

With a little help from a friend

*Zac*
"I'll go get some snacks". Tom says pulling his shirt back on before getting in the stair and rolling himself out into the kitchen.

I glance at the girls. "I'll go give him a hand".

When I walk into the kitchen Tom looks up. "Hi.. is something wrong ?"

"Well... I should probably ask you that". I stop, crossing my arms on my chest. "Sooo... what's with all this macho shit ?"

"I have no idea what you are talking about... you are just a sore loser". He turns his back to me, rummaging in a cupboard.

I breathe in deeply, now I am even more sure that something is wrong. "Tom... something is up, you are not feeling as good as you like to pretend are you ? Maybe talking about it would help".

"Nothing is wrong okay". He kinda snaps around. "Why wouldn't I feel good ? I am doing a successful play... I have an amazing woman, my life is .. perfect".

"Because that right there is not how you react when you feel warm and fuzzy inside... believe me I know how it is... I know". I shake my head slightly, this could have been me back before I met Lumi, back before I chose to work on me.

Tom looks about to argue, but then he seems to deflate. "I got rejected for a part I really wanted... they told me that I am a box office killer now.. apparently I have one note to play... now one want a hero in a wheelchair, they do not believe I will walk again".

"I am sorry to hear that Tom.. and believe me I know how that feels. I have been there... more times than I care to count... for different reasons,but ... that they feel that way does not make them right". I unfold my arms.

"It's just... after taking a year off for the teater... Well the parts weren't exactly lining up to begin with. Maybe I have to realize that the theater is where I belong. I was lucky for a short while". He slumps down on the chair.

I sit down on the other chair. "I don't believe this Tom, but have you talked to Meri about all this ?"

"No". He shakes his head. "I can't let her see that I am just another one hit wonder, a loser... what if she realizes she can do much better".

"Sorry Tom, but that is utter bullshit". I shake my head. "Tom, I know Meri, she doesn't give a shit about your fame, okay ? Give her some credit here".

He looks down and I notice a tear sliding down his cheek. "She means so much to me... I ... I love her so much .. and I am so fucking scared of losing her. I screw up all my relationships".

"Listen Tom, Meri is special and I can see she is truly special to you, and I can also see that you are very special to her... talk to her". I give him a small smile. "And maybe talking to a therapist wouldn't be a bad idea".

He rubs a hand over his face. "I just don't know how to say it to her, where to begin".

"Tell who what ?" Meri's voice sounds from the door. "Sorry I didn't mean to listen, I just wondered what took you so long".

"And this is where I take my leave... tell her Tom". I walk towards the door, touching Meri's arm as I pass her. "I think someone could use a hug".

Then I walk into the living room, leaving them alone to talk.

*Tom*
Meri looks at me with worry as she comes over, she leans down to hug me and I pull her down on my lap, hugging her tightly into me. Her voice is soft next to my ear. "What is it, my love".

"Sorry... sorry that I have behaved like some neanderthal idiot... sorry that I haven't talked to you about this". I sigh snuggling into her. "I lost a part I really wanted, because they felt I am not fit to play the hero anymore... I feel like a failure".

"Poor baby". She runs her hands into my hair. "But you are not a failure ... not at all. I might have... been finally catching up on some of your work lately and you are so very talented".

I breathe in her scent. "Well, you might be a bit biased in this".

"I am also honest. I mean it Tom, I was kind of prepared to have to... Well smile and tell you that you were good, but I was blown away, you really are good... by the way...I would love to see your play, the last you did... if... if it's possible. Is it taped or something ?"

I gently caress her cheek. "I think I can swing that and thank you... no matter what. Well it feels good hearing you say that".

"I will happily tell you as many time as needed, but I have talked to Zac about these things and his work with himself to get better... Maybe you should talk to someone professional too". She says softly, like she is worried I will get offended. "I know you Got help with the jealousy, I think you could use it here too".

"Zac said the same and I guess you are right... I will look into it". I place a hand on each of her cheeks, pulling her in for a kiss.

*Lumi*
"What is going on ?" I ask as Zac comes back into the living room alone.

He lets out a breath as he slump down beside me on the couch. "Tom, wasn't feeling well... they are talking about it now".

"Oh, are they... going to be okay ?" Hopefully it won't be a strain on their relationship, they are just so good together and they have been through so much..

"They are gonna be more than okay". He smiles warmly at me. "Tom is just struggling with .. I think it's a minor depression, because of everything that has happened, but he is strong and Meri is there for him... they'll be fine".

I look at him, the way he talks about it always intrigues me. "Am I right if I say that this is very similar to what you struggled with before we met ?"

"It is.. I used to.. Well not feel good about myself.. downright hate myself actually.. at my worst I saw no reason for me to continue.. that's when I decided I needed help and I got help". He looks me in the eyes speaking, completely honest and open. "It saved my life, so it has kind of become a very important topic for me.. to de-stigmatise it".

"That's a great thing... my... my aunt struggled a lot throughout her life". I swallow. "And believe me I know all about self hate".

He reaches out to take my hands in his. "I am so sorry to hear about that darling. I wish you could see what I see looking at you... a strong and Independent woman, someone smart, with a good heart... and on top of that beautiful too. Someone I love so dearly".

"Oh Zac !" I feel myself fighting tears, seriously how amazing is my man ? "Thank you... you really know just what to say".

He smiles warmly at me. "Just saying the truth, and it is that we all deserve love".

"Aren't you just a sweetheart ?" I lean in and my lips lands on his half open mouth sending sparks through me. I do not think I could love him any more.