Final Farewell

25

Mom is gone. She's dead.

Hindi ko pa rin matanggap tanggap. Mas lalong gumulo ang aking utak. Masyadong malakas daw ang impact ng pagsuntok ni James. And it caused a miscarriage. Nadamay ang baby sa loob ng tiyan ni Mommy.

There was another life inside of her, another human being. But he or she is already gone now.

Hindi ko mapigilang umiyak. Ang sakit eh, ang sakit sakit. I grieve for my mother, I grieve for the baby.

The baby has the right to live.

But that monster of a father took its own existence away from him. He has no heart, he has no soul. He deserves to rot in jail for his entire life. Dapat lang na makulong siya. Sa sobra sobrang pag aabuso na ginawa niya sa amin, karapat dapat siya sa kulungan.

Sabay kaming umiiyak ni Kuya, ngayon ko lang napansin na iniwan na pala kami ni Dane, for privacy. I'll thank him later.

Si Kuya lang ang makakaintindi sa nararamdaman ko ngayon, even though we weren't in good terms for the past few years, ang mahalaga ay naririto na siya ngayon para sa akin. Kahit hindi ko siyang tunay na kapatid. He's here for me. Kailangan ko rin ng mga sagot. Pero wala na si Mommy. Kahit hindi niya ako inalagaan ng mabuti, kahit hindi siya nag silbing ina, the pain inside my heart still stings. Dahil mas okay pa siya kaysa kay James.

She deserves to live-they deserve it.

"Kuya, kilala mo ba kung sino ang mga magulang ko?"

He shook his head.

"Ngayon ko lang rin nalaman, Hail. They never told me that you were adopted. I'm sorry for everything, sorry dahil pinabayaan kita," his voice was slowly breaking at mas lalo siyang umiiyak. "Sorry dahil wala ako sa mga panahong kinakailangan mo ng kasama. Sorry for abandoning you and most of all, I'm sorry that I've hurt my little sister."

Niyakap ko siya ng napakahigpit at mas lalo akong umiyak. Hinimas himas niya ang likod ko para kumalma at tumahan na ako. Pero hindi ko pa rin magawa.

Kahit papano, nawala din ang kaunting sakit at hinanakit sa puso ko.

"Thank you, Kuya. It's alright, we'll be alright."

Umiiyak pa rin siya. Alam ko, he grieves for his mother. Mas masakit yun para sa kanya. He lost her because of his heartless father.

Pareho lang kami na napakasakit ang pinagdaanan.

Years ago, naisip kong magpakamatay na lang, pero sa sitwasyon ngayon, I need to stay a little longer.

I won't change my mind about it, not yet. Kasi gustong gusto ko nang magpahinga eh.

Besides there's still 4 months left.

I could stay a little longer.

* * *

"Kailan pa tayo makakauwi?" I asked Kuya, after all the drama. He smiled in return.

"Mamaya. Aasikasuhin ko pa kasi ang libing ni Mom." He said quietly and I nodded my head. And whispered okay.

"Kayo na?" He inquired.

"Anong pinagsasabi mo diyan?"

"Kayo na ba, ni Dane I mean. Kayo na?"

Nalaki ang mga mata ko and I blushed furiously. Bakit niya naisip na kami na.Ha. nakakatawa talaga. Ni hindi nga kami masyadong nagpapansinan tapos kami na kaagad? Funny.

"No. We're not." My voice shaking from laughing. And I saw him frown.

"Bakit hindi kayo?"

"Kasi hindi kami? Kasi hindi niya ako niligiwan?Kasi walang namamagitan sa amin? Bakit mo naman kasi naisip yan Kuya, ha?"

Tinawanan niya ako at pinisil ang aking mga pisngi. Damn that hurt.

"Good, kasi binantayan ka niya buong magdamag nung nawalan ka ng malay. Akala ko kasi kayo na."

"Malobong mangyari yun, Kuya. It's impossible."

"You'll never know, Hail." He smiled and left.

I'm not looking for anything to stop me from pursuing my decision. I don't need any distractions. I still have 4 months left. And I'll make the most out of it. This is my last chance.

And when my mind is set,

There's no turning back.