Final Farewell

7

During some parts of my childhood and innocence, si Kuya Exian lang ang natitira para sa akin. He was my older brother and protector. Lagi niya akong pinagsasabihan na huwag akong nag pa-api kahit kanino. Dapat matuto akong lumaban.

But then my father, cruel as he ever be, came and destroy the picture. After the incident when I was 5, umalis si Dad at pumunta ng New York. We never heard anything from him. Kinalimutan niya na kami ni Kuya. We had no one to support us financialy dahil wala pa kaming trabaho.

I remember the times when naubos na lahat ng perang natira sa amin ni Kuya. Kahit anong gawin naming pag titipid ay mauubos rin yun. Dad left us with nothing. We starved for a month. Hindi kami kumakain. Our bills were flooding in and out. Wala kaming pambayad.

Our mother wasn't anywhere to be found also. Lumipad papuntang Italy.

They had forgotten that they still have children.

Wala rin kaming mga Tito at Tita dahil ayaw nila kina Mommy and Daddy. Si Granny din ay namatay noong 4 ako.

Kaya there was no chance of surviving. For one month hindi kami kumain. We were on the streets. Hell what would you do if you were only 5 and your brother was 12? Our only chance was to go to an orphanage. Pero ayaw ko. Ayaw kong mahiwalay kay Kuya.

Instead, nag hanap kami ng paraan. We didn't steal or robbed a bank. Nag hanap si Kuya ng part time. Kahit yung car washing lang or tagahugas ng pinggan.
We managed to survive for 2 months.

Then nung bumalik ako sa bahay namin, I discovered a canvas and painting materials.

Then my passion for art started.

I manage to make silly paintings with deep meanings. Kahit bata lang ako ay medyo maayos na ang pagpipinta ko pero hindi pa masyadong pro.

Our neighbor saw my painting of the sea, and she liked it. Binili niya yun sa amin kahit medyo mura lang ay mas malaki na iyon sa naiipon ni Kuya everyday.

I helped him, at a young age I also started working. Minsan maglimos ako sa daan, magmukhang batang kalye. Or kakanta ako sa streets. Nagkaroon nga ako ng racket sa mga libing at birthday. Ako ang kumakanta roon. Medyo malaki laki na rin ang naipon namin kaya for a year, buhay pa kami.

Ganoon lang ang set up namin ni Kuya. He would come home late at night. Then aalis ng maaga. Hindi ko na nga siya nakikita.

Then the years had passed by, hindi na bumabalik mga magulang namin. They weren't there for us. They failed at being parents.

I was 10 then and Kuya Ex was 17. He had his first girlfriend when he was 15. Si ate Desi. They were going steady for 2 years until that unfateful day.

I saw ate Desi heading to a club. I was wandering the streets to get my mind out of some things. I saw ate Desi with Kuya Exian's bestfriend. Si Kuya Vin. He had his arm around ate Desi's shoulder. Then they were laughing. Before they entered the club I saw them make out in the dark alley by the corner.

To say that I was shocked was an understatement. Rage filled my systems at nilapitan ko sila. Sinipa at sinuntok ko si Kuya Vin pero walang effect. Tinawanan lang nila ako. Saying that I was pathetic.

"You nasty bastard! Akala ko bestfriend ka ni Kuya! At ikaw, ate Des, sa lahat ba naman ng tao si Kuya Vin pa talaga ang gagamitin mo! Hindi ka na naawa kay Kuya! How dare you!" I was hurt when she laughed at me.

"Ano ba ang kailangan mo brat? I didn't love your Kuya. He was broke. Ano naman ang mapapala ko sakanya? He's useless."

Kahit matangkad siya sa akin ng ilang inches ay nasampal ko pa rin siya.

"Bitch." She spat.

I walked away leaving them glaring daggers at the back of my head.

Alam kong masasaktan si Kuya. The only two people he trusted the most betrayed him.

He's going to be a wreck.

He's going to break again.

And I'm just 10.