Final Farewell

4

School was not okay. Kung sa bahay pa lang magulo na. Mas lalo na sa school. I am never safe. I never felt safety and protection from anyone in a long time.

Iolite University was my Alma Mater. Simula Nursery hanggang senior year ay dito na ako nag-aaral. But unfortunately I despised this school.

From streostypes and typical bullying everyday. This was torture. Hindi man ako masyadong binubully because I'm a nobody. But there are times na out of hand na ang bullying nila sa akin pag trip nila akong pahirapan. And minsan sobra na talaga yung bullying nila at times na hindi ko na kakayanin. I'm not popular nor am I a nerd. I just don't want to get attached to anyone. I have no friends and no enemies as well. But there are some cheerleaders who like bullying me once in a while.

Parang multo lang nga ako. Invisibly wandering around the campus grounds.

I also get to see some of my other schoolmates get bullied by the jocks and cheerleaders. Those assholes and sluts, they think they're superior and oh so freaking popular because of their good looks and cash. But someday mawawala rin yan.

I hated their precious group. I despised everyone of them.

I may be quiet but I am not blind.

I can see the way they treat others. Tinatapak-tapakan lang nila ang mga akala nilang mababa sa kanila. And that's not right. What happened to humanity?

Umiling ako, at tinuloy ang paglalakad patungo sa locker ko.

It was a cold Monday morning, good thing that I was wearing a sweater. Kundi kanina pa ako naging snowman.

I sighed. Before I left the house, Kuya Exian was passed out on the sofa again. He looked like a mess. Hindi ko inakala na magiging ganun siya dahil lang sa break up nila ni Desirene. They were so perfect. Kuya never looked happier before. But when I turned 10 everything came crumbling down. They broke up and he was a big sloppy mess.

Idagdag mo pa ang broken marriage nina Mommy at Daddy. Lagi silang nag-aaway, I never felt loved. They left me alone for several years when I was a kid.

I remember the scars on my back and the bruises on my legs everytime I did something to displease them. Kuya wasn't there to protect me anymore. He also left me alone. The one person who I thought would protect me from the dangers of the worlds was also taken away from me. And now na hindi pa natuloy yung annulment nila ay patuloy pa rin ako nasasktan.

I never get to wear sleevess shirts and shorts anymore. Because those ugly bruises shall be evident. But nevertheless, I got used to it by the time I turned 15 and now as I'm counting the days, a smile manage to crept in my face.

5 more months before I turn 19.

5 more months of suffering.

And then somehow it'll finally end.