Final Farewell

22

"Don't you ever dare do that again. I almost died from a heart attack. Do you here me Halo?! Don't do that! I can't live without you."

Danger.

What the hell is happening right now?

"Anong ginagawa mo dito?" I asked and he glared at me.

"I could ask the same thing about you." He said through gritted teeth. Ramdam ko ang tension at galit sa kanyang mga mata. But it softened when he saw the cuts on my right arm.

Hinawakan niya ito at dahan dahang hinawakan. There was a fresh one on ny right, halatang halata na bago ko lang ginawa. Blood was still evident.

He looked me straight in the eyes and said, "Halika muna, sa park. Please Hail. Just this once." Then I saw that little spark of vulnerability he had in his eyes. But in a flicker of a second it was gone again.

"Alright."

* * *

Nang naratnan namin ang park ay abandonado ito. Walang mga batang naglalaro ngayon, it was serene and quiet. It would be romantic but well the circumstances right now say otherwise.

"We need to talk," he said.

"What do you want to know?"

"Kailan pa, Haloiena?"

He looked at me as if I wasn't the same girl he knew before, and I was pained because I know that deep within I am still the same. I never changed, I just been depressed and became sadder than the usual.

Kailan pa, those two words hold such deep meaning inside of them. So many unanswered situations with just two words.

"Since the day I left you." Mahina lang yun pero alam kong narinig niya, ni hindi ko nga siya kayang tignan.

He lifted my chin so that my eyes were in contact with his. His eyes never changed it still held a mysterious gaze. It was like he was searching my soul.

"Why?" He asked.

"Just because." I replied.

If hindi niya iklaro ang kanyang mga tanong ay hindi rin diretso ang aking mga sagot. He doesn't have to know. Iniwan niya rin ako. Bakit ba ako nandito ngayon?

Kasi ginusto mo...

He ruffled his hair in frustration, "Halo, I know that you're still mad at me and I understand it. But please, don't do this."

"Why do you care? You didn't care when you left me isolated last year! You didn't care that I made a fool out of myself in front of the whole junior class! You made a bet with Seb to break my heart. Why the sudden change of demeanor Dane?! Why do you act as if you cared about me or what I did. Why?"

He looked astonished and somehow hurt. It reflected in his looks. He was tired and guilty. I could feel it because I know.

"I care about you, Halo. From the day we first met until now, it never ever changed. You hold a tremendous space in my heart. I care for you because... I-"

I slapped him.

Hard.

"Bullshit. You know me. You're the one who knows everything about me and yet you betrayed me in front of the whole school! You didn't care. You broke my heart! Shattered it in pieces! And now you say you care? Ha! Fuck this. I can't do this. I'm so stupid to even agree on talking with you on the first place. Gods I'm such an idiot."

I stomped my feet in the ground and began walking away, as the tears spilled from my eyes. Then he yanked my arm back to face him.

His eyes were full of sadness and regret.

"I never did any of those things Halo, I never abandoned you. Gods, you of all people should know that by now. I promised you. I fucking promised you that I'll protect you! And seeing you there by the cliff, wanting to end your life... that broke me apart. That shattered me. I couldn't even move when you were about to do it.

Because I know you, Hail. I know that you're a strong and independent girl. You're the most bravest person I know. It's in your nature to never give up. But what I saw back there was a girl full of hurt and rage. It was evident in the way you looked down as if it were a playground, an escape from reality. But we both know that there's nonescaping this damned and cruel place.

I can't bear that sight of you wanting to kill yourself, and the fact that you cut your wrist was another blow for me. Those scars were so bloody and it symbolizes your pain and beyond all people I understand you. I watched you grow, I watched you cried and grieved. I watched you laughed and loved. And that was one of the scenes I would go back to anytime, the time that you were happy. I would do anything to put that smile back onto your face. Of all the races and socities in this world, you deserved to be happy.

And when you thought that I abandoned you, No I didn't. When you left me, It was like I lost a part of me. I tried to find you Hail, you never told me where you went but I found you. I watched you worked, I watched you paint. It may seem that I'm a stalker and this is creepy but no, my eyes never left you. You're all that I see. I attended our school. You only saw me when we were in our Junior year. I approached you and I know that it was you, but you said your name was Hailey. That was great though, because your appearance changed."

I started to cry harder as he held me tightly in his arms. Continuing his speech was like a lulluby to my ears hushing me to sleep and yet the tears won't stop falling.

"You were beautiful back then and you are much more beautiful now."

He kissed my forehead, then he kissed my cheeked. He kissed the tip of my nose. And stared at my lips.

And I froze.

Instead of kissing me, he hugged me tight. Holding me as if I were the most fragile and delicste thing in the world and the phrase "handle with care" was pasted in my forehead.

He whispered in my ears,

"I love you, Haloiena."