Wildflowers

Chapter 3- The dark clouded gentleman

Myles June 13th

She isn't here tonight.

She was wrong when she said that we were strangers and that we'll never see each other again. Because we did.

I was here yesterday, she was here yesterday and also the day after that. We just sat and watched the sun go down- that's our mutual love, for sunsets.

Sunsets are something that connect us, bringing me and her together.

I have loved being in the comfort of colours splashed across the sky, like a paint on a canvas, since I was a kid. I used to go with my mom, often. Just us two, the time I don't really remember, and later with my brother and step-dad, our new family. I guess I can't complain, since I have no recollection of times when it was my mom, me and my dad. Now there's a new one.

We haven't gone all together for a while now, I don't remember when was the last time we did.

We- me and the girl- never made any agreements to meet here or that we would be watching her the night fade away together. We just had this few day habit going on.
It's not like she owes me that, her coming here.
She's easy for me to be around her, there's no awkwardness or weirdness.

We can just sit around, not say a word, and it all would be just fine.

But I'll be here. I'll be here anyways, like I did yesterday, the day before and the whole week before. Watching another day go, it ending, taking all of it's sorrows and perhaps happiness with it. Leaving it all behind, making today a past. I wish I could do that, leave all this heaviness behind.

I saw her here, from the very start of summer. Last week was the first interaction between us. I can't say she ever noticed me, I did every single time.

I stand up and walk ahead a little, the sand beneath my shoe moving. Movement of something startles me a little.
There she is. Leaning against a small mound, that's covered with sand and thin grass, her bag under her head, probably not to get sand in her hair. 

She hasn't noticed me yet, just as I'm about to turn around and leave, she snaps her head to left, finally seeing me.
She looks a little frightened, seeing me just creeping up on her, I don't blame her. The girl gives me a tight-lipped smile and turns her head back towards the sea.

A second later she looks back at me and says, "Why are you standing there like a creep?" She takes me not responding as a cue to continue, "You can join me, if you want" she shrugs and looks away again.

I hesitate for a moment, not sure if I should join her. Why would I? She did kind of ditch on our sight gazing, no? I walk up to her and sit on a sand beside her, "Hi"

"Finally found me" she speaks once again.

"I did," I say.

The sun is almost entirely gone, the sky is dark around us. The only light there is, are the street lamps a behind us, but they are too far away to provide us anything.

I'm able to make out her face since we aren't too far from each other. She's not looking at me.

Now might be the time. I don't really have anything to lose...

"Sometimes..." I start, contemplating if I should tell her anything, to open up a little. I have been trying to talk to people for too long, I just haven't found the words. Words to explain what's on my mind, hovering over me like a big dark cloud.  People around me have no ears for my words.

I have nothing to lose if I tell her anything at all, maybe, just maybe I will feel better, to have someone listen.

To my words she turns her head to me, "Sometimes," I repeat, speaking quietly, she's the only one here to listen, no one else is here anymore, so there might not be a need to, "I feel this heaviness, I guess you could call it. Like I have all the worlds weight on my shoulders. And I have to carry it," It's all the time actually, not just sometimes, "making it hard to breathe. Hard to move or do anything, really"