the bad couple

chapter 17

I held my breathe as I opened the hospital door, callum was laying with one hand behind his head and the other holding his phone above his face.
"hey" I said announcing my presence, he dropped the phone, startled by my sudden intrusion.
"oh, hey leia" he said happily, picking his phone up from where it fell, which was down his hospital gown.
"were you busy?" I ask gesturing to his phone that slid round his back and was now lying on the bed.
"trying to connect to the Internet, it's so shit" He groans, putting it on the bedside locker.
"is something wrong?" he asks concerned as I took a seat beside him.
"how can you see that somethings wrong already?" I ask avoiding his gaze.
"well first, your voice is off, your slouching, and you forced the smile, whats wrong?" he asks sitting up.
"yeah"
"you wanna tell me?"
"my dad, he's got cancer and he wants me to visit him so he can tell me why he and my mum abused me" I say slowly not looking at him.
"are you gonna do it?" he asked quickly.
"i... Don't know, maybe, Mrs Edwards thinks it'll be good for me to find out why"
"you told me you know why, they never wanted kids"
"that's the reason I thought, i think there might be more"
"you don't need to do that, you don't deserve to go through that again"
"but I do deserve to know why, he won't be able to hurt me and I can leave at anytime"
"why do you want to see him, he did so much to you, he put you through so much"
"I know what he did, better than anyone, but I need to know why"
"you don't need to do anything, he deserves to die knowing that what he did was unforgiveable, for fuck sake leia, he abused you and ra-"
"don't fucking say it, i need to do this, Mrs Edwards was right i am not ok, I'm coping but barely, I'm not ok and i won't be until I do this, he has three months left, i cant not do this and regret it for the rest of my life"
"leia why do you care, he hurt you, that should be enough to tell you to stay away from him"
"because I won't be able to really move on until I find out everything, you don't get it, all you need to try to understand is that the only way I'm going to get through this is if i do this"
"well I'm not stopping you" he snapped.
"i cant do it alone, i know you don't want me doing this but you make me feel safe and secure and... Happy, i need you to help get me through this, if your not there it'll go in, listen to what he says and feel worthless, you make me feel like I deserve to be happy and safe, like what happened wasn't my fault and shouldn't have happened, like I didn't deserve it, please callum, i need you"
"leia i don't know, you know I care about you and will always want the best for you, i want you to be safe, happy and you know I would do anything for you, i don't think this is going to help"
"it will, i promise, please callum, i need you"
"fine, but you know that I have to get out of here first" he chuckles.
"yeah, you'll be out soon though, won't you?"
"yeah, maybe today"
"and what's happened with your mum?"
"haven't heard from her, at all"
"callum, please atleast call her"
"your asking alot of me Today"
"this is for your own good"
"fine" he says grabbing his phone.
"hello?" he turns up the volume so I can hear his mum.
"hello callum"
"listen, I know we've been fighting alot lately, i don't want to fight with you, i get why you don't like leia, but I do and she is good for me, i promise" he winks at me when he says 'promise'.
"I'm not asking for you two to be best friends but please just be civil"
"callum, i love you and all this fighting is not going to solve anything, i will not stop you seeing your dad, but please understand where I am coming from, and as for Leia, i know she is important to you so I will try" his face lights up and a smile finds it's way onto both of our faces.
"thank you mum, how about you come around with Amy and max?" he asks, obviously missing his brother and sister... And mum.
"okay, well be there in half an hour"
"okay, see you then mum"
"I love you"
"I love you too mum" he hangs up and looks to me, waiting for me to say something.
"so, she won't try to put me in hospital anymore ?"
"nope" he says popping the p.
"i promise I won't start her and I'll be civil"
"promise?"
"promise" I say smiling at him, he smiles back, genuinely not a smirk, and we stay silent for a while staring into eachothers eyes, and I lose myself in them.
Moments later i realise whats happening and break the gaze, we stay silent and stare at the floor.
"i knew this would be hard" he says trying to make it less awkward, i giggle slightly.
"you didn't say anything about it being awkward"
"I don't make the rules"
"you just break them"
"and I'm the only one?"
"which one of us do you think has the worst record?"
"well considering you've already been to three discipline schools"
"oh, am I blushing?"
"visibly"
"ha ha" i say sarcastically, he chuckles and we banter for another while until his mum comes in with Amy and max.
"hey, leia!" Amy shouts hugging me?
"erm... Hey Amy" i say hugging her back.
"amy, your making her uncomfortable" max says going to sit on callums bed.
"sorry" she says blushing.
"you weren't, it's fine" I say smiling at her, she smiles and hugs me again, i notice max roll his eyes and callum watching us and chuckling when max rolls his eyes.
"amy, have you forgotten about your big brother?" callum asks pretending to be hurt, holding his heart.
"oh yeah" she says hugging max.
"fuck off!" he shouts pushing her back, she laughs and sits on the other side of callum, hugging him.
"hi cals" she says into his chest hugging him.
"hey Amy, what have you been up to?" callum asks hugging her back, they are so close, it's so cute.
"i got a solo in my dancing"
"wow, thats great" he smiles poking her cheek, she giggles and tries to bite his finger.
"hey, that's aces job" he laughs.
"ace doesn't bite!" she defends.
"you keep thinking that" he laughs.
"max, whats up with you?"
"I got a detention for talking, i literally said two words" he defends angrily.
"them two words were what?" his mum pushes.
"fuck miss" he mutters and callum starts laughing.
"was it miss green?" callum asks.
"obviously" he answers.
"don't worry, it's not too bad" callum assures him.
"leia i don't trust him, is detention that bad?" max asks me.
"not really, you just sit there bored for an hour" I answer him.
"your meant to do work leia" callum tells me.
"oops?" I answer him, he smirks.
"so, do you two still hate eachother?" max asks about me and callum.
"no, we don't hate eachother anymore" i answer.
"come on max, no one can permanently hate me"
"yeah, whatever" I laugh at him and we stay in the room laughing and joking fir a few hours, i eventually decide to go shower and change my clothes leaving the family alone for a while and hoping that Janet won't talk about me again.